Hopelessly Devoted
by destielshipper
Summary: AU. It's not fun being in love with your best-friend, it ruins everything and that's Castiel's problem. He is so in love it hurts and it doesn't help when Dean is getting married, will he ruin it all by confessing the truth or stay quiet and let him go?
1. Chapter 1

A best friend is someone who is there for you no matter, every argument, every fight, everything and anything they are there. Sometimes you fall past friendship and love them more, it's always your best friend and sometimes it's only one of you, which is how it is for Castiel. To love your best friend in ways he couldn't possibly imagine while being a closet gay was hard, so he locked it far away and kept it hidden but this love and this secret was growing bigger and bigger, it was only a matter of time before it was unlocked.

~0~

Dean glanced over to his best friend of 7 years and only person in the world apart from his brother he could fully trust. He watched as he stared hard at the screen and typed his work up for tomorrow.

"Castiel" he sang to him and watched him stop and turn to look at him over his glasses.

"Yes?"

"You are such a nerd! Why don't you come over here and watch the game with me?" he cried.

Castiel sighed deeply turning back to his work.

"I have a paper due in and you know this"

"I still can't believe you enrolled for college, I mean, I.C.T? It's daft"

Cas sighed and continued to type ignoring him, Dean gave in and with a huff turned back to the TV. "Just because you are in a stable job as a mechanic does not mean I can't get a successful job"

"Ouch, are you saying I am not successful?" Dean said in mock hurt.

He smirked as he typed away and felt a cushion hit the back of his head.

"I am successful!" he cried loudly.

"I didn't say you weren't! Watch your game, you are such a child sometimes" he muttered.

"I am 23 years old give me some credit, I'll grow up when you grow up"

"I am grown up!"

Dean rolled his eyes sipping his beer; he turned back to his game with a sigh.

"What has the lovely Anna got to say about this?"

"Nothing, she supports me like any room-mate would, unlike some" he muttered as Dean turned towards him shocked.

"I do! I'm just saying it is slightly daft that's all; don't go all huffy on me Cas"

Castiel ignored him and carried on working.

Silence grew between them for a good 20 minutes when Dean stretched loudly and went over to stand next to him.

"I need to tell you something…I want you to promise me you will keep it a secret because it is only an idea".

Castiel swallowed hard glancing up at his excited expression.

"What?"

He pulled something out of his pocket and passed it to him with a wide grin. Castiel looked down at the small box in fear, he knew what it was going to be and his heart nearly stopped in dread. He opened it to reveal a crystal white diamond engagement ring.

"Are you proposing to me, Dean?" he said in a small voice but looked up at him with amused eyes to tell him he was joking.

"No, don't need to, you are already mine" he said with a sly wink. "No, this is for Lisa…it's our 2 year anniversary next week and I plan to make her the proposal she will never forget".

Castiel cleared his throat feeling his heart pound loudly in his chest. "Wow, she…she will love it"

"No mentioning this to Anna! Understand me? She will tell her since them two are thick as thieves"

"Not a word" he whispered handing it back.

Dean glanced up at the time and grimaced in shock, he hadn't realised.

"Shit, its 6 already? Gotta go!" he said ruffling the top of his hair playfully.

Castiel swatted him away and smiled forcefully as Dean whistled a tune walking out of his flat. He looked down at his keyboard feeling his heart clench painfully at the thought of him settling down.

Dean and Lisa met 2 years ago after he helped mend her car one day, he never expected it to reach this moment but it was here and he hated it.

Anna walked in at that moment returning from work.

"Hey you!" she cried with a big smile and kissed his cheek as he greeted her.

"How was work?"

Anna collapsed on the sofa with a wince whilst taking off her high heels. "So tiring, who knew running around after business men would be such a task! I mean seriously, why am I secretary to these dicks again?"

"Because you love your job" he stated.

"Yes, remind me why?" she muttered and laughing to herself.

She suddenly sniffed the air and nodded. "Was Dean here? I can smell that aftershave"

"His aftershave is nice" he said with a frown and then realised how it sounded.

Anna smiled knowingly and nodded at him. "I know… how are you doing with that by the way?"

"Anna" he warned.

Anna had found out his secret whilst interrogating while he was drunk, he spilled the beans about everything and she wouldn't let it go.

"I just want to know! I care about you and you are harbouring very deep feelings for the bloke now, aren't you?"

"Yes! But they are invalid and not of import anymore…"

"Why?"

He shook his head and saved his work before slamming the screen down with a loud bang.

"He told me not to tell you"

"What? No, no, you cannot say something like that and shut me out! I promise with everything I own, I won't tell a soul"

He grimaced and stared at her for a long moment, she batted her eyes at him.

"Fine! He is proposing and I will know if she finds out!"

Anna gasped and squealed underneath her hand.

"I'm sorry for you of course but so happy for them!"

"Same" he whispered.

Anna sighed and stood up wrapping an arm around his shoulder. "I am sorry Castiel, really I am, but…maybe it's time to move on"

"Move on? Anna, I have been trying for nearly 7 years! Is it my fault I fell in love with him? I can't…I can't help it, he's everything" he whispered brokenly.

She wrapped her other arm and hugged him close. "Oh sweetheart"

He sighed and hugged her back. "How did it come to this?"

~0~

"Lisa? I'm back!" he called as she smiled at him from the kitchen.

"Hey babe! You hungry?"

"Starving"

He sat down and watched as she served up his favourite ham burger and chips.

"You are a darling" he muttered biting a big chunk out of it.

"I know" she said smirking.

She sat in front of him and picked at her pasta watching him closely.

"So where have you been?"

"Cas' all day" he murmured swallowing his food.

"Speaking of Castiel, I was thinking…"

"Oh that can't be a good sign" he grinned as she kicked at him.

"Shut it, no, I was thinking of match-making"

He stopped at that and looked up at her. "Match-making?"

"Yes! I mean, Dean, the guy hasn't had a girlfriend in over 2 years! When was the last time you seen him date one let alone talk to a girl!"

He swallowed and stared at her for a long moment before shrugging and noticing his stomach had turned horribly at the thought of Cas being with anyone. Yes, he had noticed he hadn't been with anyone else but he kinda liked it that way.

"But he's fine"

"Dean, no he isn't, he needs a woman and not Anna at his beck and call! I will find someone for him" she said determined and happily ate her pasta.

Dean dropped his burger and bit his lip listening to his heart scream internally NO at him.

"_He's your best friend though? Doesn't he deserve to be happy?" _his brain told him making him silently agree even though the thought still made him ill.

That night he walked into his local bar and greeted Jo warmly.

"Hey" she said handing him his usual. "Where is Cas?"

"On his way" he muttered and heard the door open to see him stroll in.

Dean smiled at him warmly and slapped him on the back gently.

"Finished that paper?"

"Nearly, why did you call me? Miss me already?" he said playfully grabbing his beer and swallowing it down.

"Oh of course" he said laughing and looking down at the bar. "No, I wanted to warn you against my girlfriend"

"Why?" he said fearfully.

"She is match-making!"

He blinked at him confused looking to Jo who shrugged as she stood in front of them interested.

"For you! She brought it up before"

"I…I don't need someone to match-make for me, no, Dean tell her I said no!" he protested biting his lip hard.

"But, why? I mean she is right, you do need a girl"

Castiel shook his head and looked away from him wishing he could tell him that he didn't want a girl because he didn't find them attractive at all, he was into men, one in particular and one he could never have.

"Because I don't want to date!" he hissed at him.

"Why?"

"Dean, you can't force him to" Jo said intervening as she saw the anger rise in Cas' eyes and his knuckles whiten.

"I'm not! We want to help"

Castiel scoffed dropping his beer and stood up.

"Whoa! Where are you going?"

"Away from you!" he cried slamming out the pub.

Dean looked to Jo who stared back in equal shock. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No idea, go after him though"

Grabbing his jacket, he rushed out after him and saw Cas hurrying up the road in the distance.

"Cas! Wait!" he shouted running up to him and grabbing his arm. "What the hell dude! Did I do something wrong?"

"No! Leave me alone, Dean" he cried tugging his arm away and glared at him.

"Was it the match-making shit? Okay, I'll tell her, but there is no need for the dramatic exit and this shit Cas!"

"You don't understand and that is the problem! You never fucking will" he shouted angrily at him.

"What?" he said taken back by his sudden outburst of anger.

"If I wanted to find a girlfriend or someone to date, I would! I do not need your help or Lisa's at all understand?"

Dean nodded quickly desperate not to leave this in a fight, he hated more than anything to argue and fight with him.

"I'm sorry, okay?"

"Yes" he whispered looking down at his feet.

The silence grew between them until Dean let out a frustrated groan. "Come here"

He pulled him into a tight hug holding him in his warm embrace; Castiel leaned against his shoulder breathing in the smell of his cologne, oil and leather. This was his favourite smell of all because it was, Dean.

Dean rubbed a hand up and down his back before letting go and looking down at him.

"I better go, call me tomorrow yeah? Don't leave here hating me"

"Impossible" he murmured letting go of him.

"I know, right, see you tomorrow" he cried and walked back the way he came, Castiel again watching his retreating back with a heavy heart.

He could still smell him on him and his heart beat a broken beat again, he hated this feeling more than anything. Love hurts, it really, really hurts and he wished he didn't but there it was.

He was hopelessly in love with his best mate Dean Winchester and once you fall, that's it, there is no going back.

**AN: This is my new story; I made one before and then deleted it because I didn't like it but since watching that fucking promo clip! I want this one, so….REVIEW! **


	2. Chapter 2

"You told him? Dammit Dean!" Lisa cried hitting him on the arm.

"Yes! He needed to know before random women started throwing themselves at him and he doesn't want our help so drop it, now!" he cried rubbing his sore arm.

"You are such an arsehole sometimes" she muttered taking his plate away and scrubbing it clean.

"For telling my best friend that my girlfriend is setting him up with women, oh shoot me down now! How could I?" he said covering his heart and grimacing at her.

"Because I want to help him! He's lonely and he is my friend too, even Anna says he needs someone…is it so hard to want him to have someone, to kiss him, hold him?"

Dean swallowed hard and looked down at his hands. "No, he does he needs that…I'll talk to him okay! Now go to work" he muttered kissing her gently.

"Okay, thank you, I love you" she cried grabbing her coat and bag hurrying out.

"Yeah" he muttered cleaning up deep in thought.

He went upstairs for a lie down since he was granted the day off by Bobby, his boss, for being a good worker. He curled up and wondered why it disturbed and made him feel physically ill, he imagined for a moment a woman kissing him, holding him, hugging him and it made him want to smash the room up.

"What is wrong with me?" he muttered slamming a hand to his forehead angrily. He grabbed his phone and dialled his number not caring if he was in lesson or not.

Castiel looked down at his phone in confusion before answering it.

"Dean, what?" he hissed.

"Hey, where are you?"

"Lesson! I'll call you in 15 minutes, okay?"

"Okay"

Castiel hung up and shook his head apologising to his tutor before mentally hitting a version of Dean in his head for comfort. He knew not to call him in lessons; it was like being in a relationship with the man. With this thought, Cas cocked his head to the side imagining it and bit his lip with a sigh.

He was dismissed early and pulled out his phone calling him back.

"Is there a reason why you called me?"

"No, just bored and want company" Dean cried staring up at his ceiling.

"I'm on my dinner now, come meet me?"

"Yeah, where?"

"Café near the college in 10 minutes"

"See you soon" he muttered hanging up and getting ready to go and meet him.

Dean walked into see him at his table with his laptop out, he smiled to himself and sat down opposite him.

"What is more important… your best friend of nearly 8 years or a laptop?"

"The laptop" Cas muttered closing it with a playful smile.

"I know that is a lie, you love me more than that thing" he muttered with a wink and looked at his menu.

Castiel nodded discreetly to his words and sipped his coffee gently.

"So, you miss me that much you needed to call me in the middle of lesson?"

"No, I wanted company…hello, can I have a burger please?"

"Sure" the waitress said and hurried away.

"What is more important, your best friend or a burger?" Castiel said amused.

"Burger" he teased leaning back in his chair with a sigh.

Cas chuckled to himself and looked away fighting his smile. "So, anniversary soon, you planned it out?"

"Not yet, it's hard! I mean, why are they so difficult?"

"It's a proposal Dean, you get down on one knee and say, "Will you marry me?" it isn't hard"

"Yeah, when you say it like that!" he cried and looked to the waitress with a relieved smile.

"Thank you darling"

She blushed a deep red before running off.

"She will be shaking in the kitchen now; you know how to use that appeal of yours"

"Hell yeah" he grinned taking a bite.

"So! Lisa has been on my back again about this whole dating thing for you"

"Tell her it is very kind of her but I am fine! I can manage on my own; I have done for 2 years"

"So? 2 years with no sex"

"How do you know that for sure?" Castiel muttered heavily.

"So you have?"

"I am not having this conversation with you Dean"

"Oh! Are you a serial whore and never told me? Is this why!" he gasped teasing him gently.

"No!" he hissed looking around to make sure no one was watching and listening in. "Stop it"

"Aww" he muttered looking down at the table. "So, come on, please for me?"

Castiel sighed wetting his dry lips with the tip of his tongue and nodded slowly.

"Fine, tonight then"

Dean nodded slowly but was transfixed when Cas wet his bottom lip like that, it was kinda hot. Dean blinked slowly and mentally shook himself away from that thought, he devoured his burger avoiding Cas' gaze.

"I'll set you up!"

"Really?" he said with half of a groan looking up at him.

"Yeah, why not?" he said with a small smile but his confidence in this wavered at the thought.

~0~

He knew it felt wrong but why not, why not take this chance to move on from him and try and be with someone else.

He looked towards Dean as he walked in and he handed him a beer.

"Please tell me there is no one in here that you have chosen for me already" he mumbled hopefully.

"I have! Her over there" he muttered and pointed to the cute brunette in a corner in deep thought.

"Do I have to?"

"Here" he said passing him vodka shot. Castiel drank it down and looked to Jo who rolled her eyes handing him another.

"Just say hello and ask if you can sit with her?" Jo suggested.

Dean nodded at him with an amused smile.

"This is your fault if this messes up!" he hissed pointing a finger in his face and moving towards her.

Dean and Jo huddled together to watch them and she raised her eyebrows in surprise when the brunette blinked and smiled up at him before nodding and Cas sitting down.

"It worked! Good job, Dean" Jo cried shoving his shoulder.

"Yeah…yeah I guess it did" he muttered and looked towards her with a smile.

As the night progressed, Cas was getting on with the brunette very well much to Dean's surprise but could see he was a little more than tipsy now.

"He'll do something he'll regret, he always does" Dean muttered circling the top of his bottle with his little finger and watching them like a hawk.

"So? They go and have sex, he wakes up and you never know! She might want his phone number, I mean; she is practically shoving that chest in his face"

"He shouldn't be doing this like that, he needs to be sober"

"So you are just going to go over there and break it up? You sound jealous Dean"

Dean scoffed at her and turned to look at them watching closely.

"I want to do something but I need your permission"

"What?" he said blinking to focus on her, she was pretty, funny and seemed intelligent but he felt nothing for her and he desperately wanted to escape but couldn't.

"I want to kiss you; seriously, I don't think you realise how gorgeous you are"

"Um, okay?" he whispered and gasped when she pulled him forward kissing him hard.

Dean slammed his beer bottle on the bar hard.

"Taking advantage of him now is she!"

"Dean, calm down" Jo muttered alarmed at his outburst.

"I can't! if he does this whole dating thing then he does it sober" he said and went to walk over before Jo grabbed his arm.

"No! I won't let you, why are you being like this?" she said looking him up and down.

"I honestly don't know" he murmured. "Fine, I'm leaving"

He tugged out of his arm and went over to him, Jo watching him closely.

"Cas, I'm going, okay?"

"What? Why?" he said looking up at him.

"Because of work and that, are you staying or are you coming with me?"

"Excuse me?" the brunette said shocked.

"Cas?" he said ignoring her.

Castiel looked at her and back up to Dean in confusion before nodding.

"Help me up, it was very nice to meet you…Maria, was it?"

"Melissa!" she cried shocked as Dean helped him up secretly smug, Castiel stumbled into his arms and wrapped them around his neck.

"Whoa, you okay?" Dean mumbled to him shocked at the lack of personal space as his blue eyes met his and he smiled widely.

"I like your eyes"

"Thanks…" he muttered and unwound him to wrap his arm around his shoulder.

Jo who was watching the display saw the look in Cas' eyes when he came over to get him, it was shock and delight. Jo had always had a feeling Castiel felt more for Dean then he should and this confirmed her theories.

"Thanks Jo, I'm taking him home" he muttered and ignored her shake of her head.

He pushed Cas gently outside with him as he muttered to himself.

"Thank you"

"What for?" Dean grunted holding his weight.

"For saving me, her mouth tasted like blackberries…I don't like blackberries"

Dean laughed a little and looked to him as he gazed at the stars overhead.

"Okay, give me your keys" he muttered grabbing the keys to his flat and helping him inside.

"Don't leave me" he cried and huffed when Dean covered his mouth.

"Anna is asleep isn't she, shush!" he whispered taking him into his bedroom and placing him on the bed.

"Don't leave me! Please?" he whispered grabbing his jacket and pulling him down towards him.

"Cas, I've got work in the morning" he said grabbing his wrists and pulling them off him gently. Cas' bottom lip pouted out as he sighed and turned over away from him.

"Don't get all pissy with me Cas, you know I have work" he whispered sitting on the bed and turning him back over. "Why do you want me to stay anyway? If you wanted company, you could have had Maria's?"

"It was Melissa! I just do" he mumbled sleepily closing his eyes.

"I'll stay till you go asleep alright?" he muttered stroking the hair off his forehead highly amused by his mumblings.

Castiel smiled a little and eventually dropped off into his deep sleep, Dean stayed for a moment watching him sleep. He looked so innocent and soft in his sleep like he did as a teenager; Dean carefully stroked his hair and sighed to himself.

"What are you doing to me?" he mumbled before getting up and seeing himself out the door.

~0~

"Please tell me you remembered" Lisa said standing in front of him that morning.

"Our anniversary? Nope" he muttered playfully.

"You did! Oh my god!" she cried wrapping her arms around him gleefully.

Dean hugged her back and nodded to himself. "Sit down"

She sat comfortably waiting for him to continue when he suddenly went down on one knee.

"Dean?" she said her face whitening and her pupils going wide when he pulled out a small box.

"2 years ago I met you and look what you've done to me, you've changed me for the better and I don't regret a single moment with you. I want you in my life forever, so will you do me the greatest honour and be my wife?" he said with a big grin.

Lisa sat shell-shocked and grabbed the box off him and opened it screaming in delight.

"Yes! Oh my god! Yes!"

She jumped off the chair and hugged him tight crying happily. "Holy shit!"

He hugged her back and took the ring sliding it on to her finger. "We're engaged"

Lisa wiped her eyes and kissed him fiercely. "I love you!"

"You too"

"I have to tell Anna!" she screamed and ran to the phone excited.

Dean pulled out his phone and dialled his number.

"Cas?"

"Dean…you did it then, Anna is screaming" he muttered.

"Yeah, are you happy for me?"

Castiel who was sat on the couch bit his lip as his heart clenched painfully.

"Of course I am" he muttered thickly and regrettably felt tears spring to his eyes and breathed out agonised.

"You don't sound it"

"I am, of course I am"

Dean turned his back and looked out the window feeling something inside him tell him something was wrong and Castiel was far than happy for him.

"Then why is everything telling me you're not, come on Cas, what is it?"

"Dean, I am happy for you!" he cried angrily.

"Oh yeah sure! Want to shout at me again?" he cried back.

Castiel covered his mouth feeling the tears run down and shook his head. "I have to go"

"Cas, what…"

Castiel hung up the phone and curled up in a ball sobbing to himself. He hated this feeling more than anything in the world and he didn't know why it hurt so much.

Anna saw him and ended her call, she silently came over and picked him up gently, sitting down and wrapping him in her arms.

"Oh Cas" she murmured as he cried into her shoulder.

"I don't want to feel like this anymore Anna, you have to help me, help me get over him" he pleaded.

Anna looked at his broken expression with an agonised heart.

"I wish I could, oh darling, I really do"

He wept into his hands and prayed someone would help him, anyone would remove him from this and the torture he would endure with the wedding plans and then of course, the wedding.

**AN: ****Please review! **


	3. Chapter 3

"Isn't it gorgeous?" Lisa said fluttering her hand at Anna, Castiel ignoring them as he sat at his desk. "Hey Cas, what do you think?"

"Gorgeous" he muttered turning to her with a small smile as she beamed at him.

"Dean always knows the right jewellery for me! We have to start planning!"

Anna clapped her hands gleefully and held on to Lisa's clutching them hard. "I know! This is so exciting; the wedding of you two will be magnificent"

Castiel sighed deeply closing down his work and getting out of the room before he went insane, the topic of that wedding had been no stop for days. He hadn't properly spoken to Dean at all and his phone was filled with messages, missed calls and voice messages, he ignored when he knocked and begged Anna not to let him in.

He hated it but it was for the best, he needed time and space but Dean was having none of it and waited till he saw Anna and Lisa leave the flat before going in. he tapped lightly on the door instead of his usual knock and waited with baited breath for him to open.

Castiel opened it confused and sighed a little when Dean shoved it back hard and smiled at him.

"Oh hey! Remember me?" he cried walking in and closing the door behind him. "Don't even bother lying or even denying it, why have you been avoiding me?"

"I haven't" he muttered walking backwards away from him as Dean walked towards him till he hit the wall.

"Oh you have! I haven't spoken to you in days Cas! You've been ignoring my calls, messages, when I came around you weren't there!" he cried and slammed his hand on the wall near his head making him flinch.

"I wanted to give you a bit of space to be with her and I'm busy! I have work to do! My whole life doesn't revolve around you"

"Did I say that?"

"No! But you are making it out to be that way, Dean" he shouted and then bit his bottom lip hard looking up at him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ignore you or…shout at you, I wanted to give you time with her, it's stupid but…"

Dean sighed and took his hand away nodding; Castiel avoided his eye contact and moved away from him to sit on the couch.

"I've missed you, that's all; it's weird not having a constant presence in your life"

Cas smiled a little and looked up at him to see him sit down next to him heavily and kicking his feet up.

"Really?"

"Yes! Anyway, Sam is coming down tomorrow to see me"

"Oh that's great!"

"So, since me and you haven't seen each other in days, we are going out and I am getting very drunk" he stated tilting his head to look at him playfully.

Cas rolled his eyes but nodded in agreement. "Don't be sick on my again!"

"Promise"

"So how does it feel to be an engaged man?"

"No different apart from wedding plans and Lisa screaming excitedly every once in a while…she wants a big summer wedding" he muttered looking ahead into nothing.

"Don't sound to thrilled Dean, you may explode with excitement"

Dean nudged him with a smirk but it died as he sighed and leaned against the couch.

"I am…I don't know, I just feel like…"

"What?"

"It's daft"

"Dean, tell me!" he cried kicking him gently.

"The spark, that spark that we had in the beginning is just…gone, I mean, the sex isn't that good anymore…it's old"

Castiel cringed and looked away from him cussing under his breath but his heart did a backflip and a cheer at that also.

"Oh" he said and that was all he could say to him at that moment.

"Don't say anything because it'll cause fights and this engagement will be over sooner than it has begun!"

"I promise" he murmured gently patting his knee.

Castiel peeked over to him and smiled to himself, he loathed himself to think it but he was glad that it was gone because he needed that bit of relief inside him that things weren't as perfect as they made out to be.

~0~

"Another beer, Jo!" Dean cried slamming his hand down grinning.

"It's 10.30 and you have already had 9 beers Dean, I think you should calm down like Castiel who is only on his third mister"

"So? Please, Jo!" he pleaded kissing her hand gently and looking at her with big wide eyes.

"You are a menace, here! I hope you are sick tomorrow and holding your head in a massive hangover"

"Oh! Harsh words Joanna" he muttered sipping his beer and looking to Cas who shook his head at him.

"Toilet" he groaned pushing himself up and moving away slowly. Castiel watched after him and turned to look at Jo who was eyeing him carefully.

"I know your secret"

"Oh really? What secret is that?"

"That you are in love with Dean"

He froze and his heart stopped at her words, he cleared his throat and looked down at the bar.

"Why would you say that?"

"Because it is obvious, you do don't you?"

"No"

"Liar, I know, I can see the signs and don't worry I won't say a word"

He looked up at her in relief and she smiled gently touching his hand. "Oh wow, you do, how long?"

"7 years" he murmured.

She stifled a gasp and squeezed his hand gently. "So you're gay?"

"Kinda, I mean, I have never thought about another man like that because of him, I can't stop it"

"Wow, I'm sorry and you know what, I really wish he was gay…you don't understand how cute you two would be together! You complete him and he completes you".

Cas blushed a little and looked to see Dean stumbling back and collapsing on his back leaning his chin on his head.

"Those toilets are disgusting"

"You clean them then" she cried and moved away to serve a customer.

"You're hurting my head" Cas said tilting his head up a little to look at him.

Dean let go of him and sat down next to him grinning sheepishly.

"Cas?"

"Yes, Dean?"

"You do know you're my best man don't you?"

"I thought you would want Sam for that?"

Dean nodded quickly and gestured at him. "Yes, you and him are sharing the job! You are going to plan my stag night"

"Okay" he muttered looking down at his beer.

"Hey, don't go all weird and quiet on me" he muttered leaning on his shoulder with his forehead.

"Okay"

"Good" he whispered and moved away chugging down his beer.

It hit midnight when Jo chucked them out, Castiel was holding up Dean who was demanding a lock in.

"No way!" Jo cried and shown him to the door.

"Buzz kill!" he shouted and stepped out into the freezing cold air and clung to Castiel who stumbled with his weight.

"If we fall again, I will hurt you" Cas muttered walking down the street.

"Aww, look at you helping me" he muttered wrapping his arms around his neck and nuzzling his neck gently.

Cas' heart fluttered and he stopped for a moment gently unwinding him.

"We need to get you home"

"No, no, I need to tell you something!" he cried and backed him up against the wall, Cas hitting it with a dull thud.

"Dean, what are you doing?" he said shocked.

He wrapped his hands on either side of his neck and focused on his eyes.

"You know you are my best friend right? That it will never change when I'm married"

"I know" he muttered with a sad smile.

"Why are you sad Cas? I can see it in your eyes" he murmured leaning his forehead against his gently.

"I'm not, I'm okay Dean"

"No, no, no you're not because I know you better then you know yourself and you are upset about me getting married aren't you?"

"No" he whispered looking away from him and to the empty neighbourhood.

"You are" he said and grabbed his chin making him face him. "I can see it in your eyes, why?"

"I wish I could tell you" he whispered and stroked his cheek softly, Dean blinking at the touch and focusing on him amazed.

"Tell me!"

"I can't, Dean, let me take you home" he muttered and went to move but was held against it fast. He could smell his cologne mixed with alcohol all around him and felt desire pool inside him.

"No, tell me"

"No!" he hissed looking for an escape.

"Why?" he growled getting frustrated with him.

"Because you wouldn't understand, you wouldn't believe me, I would ruin everything between us, I would ruin…" he trailed off with deep sigh and pressed his hands against his chest and sighed at the warmth.

Dean shifted closer to him looking into his eyes confused and looking down at his lips.

"I might have a bit of an idea"

"I really hope not" he muttered and could feel the tension spark between them and his gut instinct telling him something would happen.

"You are very drunk Dean. Please let me take you home and back to Lisa who will be worried about you, it's nearly half past 12" he pleaded and Dean shook his head slowly.

"I don't want to, I want to know why you aren't happy with me and why I can't over the fact I don't want you with anyone else"

"Excuse me?" he muttered confused.

Dean swallowed and closing his eyes taking deep breaths before looking at him again.

"You and dating, I don't want you dating at all, it hurts to imagine it Cas"

"But, why?"

"I don't know" he mumbled.

"So, you want me to stay single all my life for you? Bit unfair don't you think, don't I deserve someone who loves me back"

Dean couldn't focus properly on his words and moved to lean against his shoulder with a nod.

"It hurts to imagine, don't do it"

"I have to one day Dean, I can't remain single forever, a guy has needs"

"What kind of needs?" he muttered against his jacket.

"Intimate needs Dean, I want someone Dean"

"No" he muttered looking up at him with wet eyes.

"Dean…"

Dean hesitated for a moment before taking a deep breath and pulling his chin towards him and kissing him gently. Castiel gasped shocked giving Dean entry as he deepened it, Castiel could taste the alcohol on his breath but found it strangely hot. His hands moved up to grip the back of his neck and hair and moaned into the kiss.

Dean shoved him more into the wall sliding his tongue across his bottom lip before sliding into his mouth and against Cas'. They slid against each other in dominance, Cas could hear him give a deep groan as it grew more passionate and the heat between them intensified.

They parted for oxygen breathing hard and staring at one another amazed and confused.

"There it is" Dean murmured swaying slightly.

"What?"

"The spark Cas, the one that's missing…I think I've found it" he muttered touching Cas' bottom lip with a smirk.

Castiel swallowed hard and let out a deep breath. "Why did you do that?"

Dean shrugged and moved away from him looking up at the sky. "Fun"

"Fun?" he hissed in horror.

"No…not fun, a test…I can't get you out of my head Castiel"

"Really?" he whispered and he nodded quickly before staggering back and Cas running forward to catch him.

Dean laughed to himself and steadied his feet.

"Come on"

Castiel helped him home and let himself in to see there were no lights on in the house.

"Is Lisa in, Dean?"

"No, sister's tonight because I was going out" he mumbled and fumbled with his keys.

"Give them here" he said taking them off him and unlocking the door.

He gently helped him and turned on the light much to Dean's horror as he hissed and covered his eyes like a vampire.

"Go lie down on the couch and I'll get you water" Cas cried shoving him gently to the living room and went to the kitchen. He leaned against the counter breathing deeply; he still couldn't believe what had happened back then. He couldn't regret it if he wanted to because it was everything he had dreamed of and Dean was an amazing kisser.

He poured his water and went back in to see him sprawled on the couch.

"Here" he whispered crouching down and helping him drink it.

"Stay with me?"

"You didn't stay with me last time"

"Yeah but tomorrow is a Sunday! Please Cas!" he begged pulling him down to his level.

"Okay, one night!" he muttered and then frowned. "On here?"

"Yes! I am not going up the stairs, it's too high" he whispered dramatically and patted the couch. "We'll spoon".

"We are not 16 anymore Dean"

"I don't want to move though! Cas, do this for me" he pleaded.

Castiel moved to turn off the light and lay down next to him on the couch. The lamp from outside gave a little light so he could Dean look at him with a small smile.

"Go to sleep" Cas whispered and turned over facing away from him, he sighed and gasped a little when he felt Dean brush his cheek over his hair gently and fidget.

"What is it?"

"Turn back around" he cried loudly making him do it and cover his mouth.

"Be quiet" he hissed and lay back down facing him this time, Dean moving closer to him and smiling gently.

"That's better" he whispered closing his eyes and breathing deeply. Castiel watched him for a long moment and bit his lip stroking down his cheek.

"What the hell are we going to do now? This is so you Dean Winchester, you mess with my head and make me fall in love with you over and over again"

He closed his own eyes and felt Dean's gently breath on his cheek and smiled slightly. He didn't think he would have this again and he wanted more, much more.

**Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

Dean woke up to a pounding headache and a dry mouth, he opened one bleary eye and saw Castiel fast asleep next to him, he was flush against his chest with one hand clutched at his t-shirt. He frowned for a moment looking at him as he tried to grip of his head and what had happened.

He shifted a little rubbing his lips together when he froze and looked towards Cas in shock, had he kissed him? Not just a kiss, but a full on, passionate, kiss that actually made him tingle all over and desire flood him from what he remembered. He remembered the groan Cas gave as he shoved him against the wall and kissed him back, he couldn't deny it was one amazing kiss.

But it wasn't right, not one little bit, this was his best friend he was talking about and he had kissed him out of his mind on booze. Lisa sprang to his mind and he covered his mouth with a groan, he had cheated on her with him.

"Cas" he murmured shaking his shoulder.

He stirred a little but sighed deeply ignoring him. Dean rolled his eyes at him and gently shoved him to wake him up.

"If you don't wake up now, I will shove you on the floor and you know I will" he muttered and closed his eyes grimacing in pain.

Castiel blinked and looked up at him frowning and then realised where he was and how close he was, he shifted back and let go of him feeling awkward and nervous.

"Oh" he mumbled looking around and remembering where he was, he bit his lip gently and looked back up to him wondering if he remembered.

"Before you ask… yes I remember what happened"

"Good, would be a bit hard to explain"

"Yeah" he mumbled rubbing his forehead. "Couldn't get me an aspirin could you?"

"Yes" he said and jumped up hurrying away to the bathroom for his tablets. Dean watched after him and felt unease stir inside him, would this little moment of pure madness change everything?

Castiel came back with water and aspirin for him and smiled gently. "How's the hangover?"

"Wonderful, my head is a drum, my stomach is upside down and I want to be sick, it's awesome" he grumbled swallowing them down with a grimace.

He shifted slightly and looked up at him. "I'm sorry"

"What for? The kiss?"

"Yeah, I didn't mean it"

Castiel looked away and felt like he had been kicked in the stomach very hard, he carefully sat down next to him and nodded.

"Of course"

"I'm engaged Cas…it was a silly, drunken and stupid mistake…call it a spur of the moment thing, yeah?"

"Yes" he whispered looking down at his hands.

"Things won't change will they? I can't lose you over this"

"No, it's in the past" he muttered and with a tight smile looked up at him.

Dean nodded and groaned lying back down. "I need more sleep"

"I'll leave you to it" he whispered and went to get up and leave when Dean grabbed his wrist and tugged it gently.

"Please tell me you aren't leaving here annoyed or upset with me?"

"No, and no…It's fine, go to sleep" he lied and smiled reassuringly.

"Okay…" he whispered and let him go, Cas walking quickly out and slamming the door behind him. He rested against it and closed his eyes in defeat, he knew what would happen, he knew Dean would say it was a mistake but it really, really hurt to hear him say it and he knew things would be different now, they always were.

He returned back home to find a note from Anna.

_Cas,_

_I don't know what happened to you last night but I want details when I get home!_

_Please get some shopping in with money I left!_

_Anna x_

He crumpled up and threw it at the ball with a sigh and threw himself down on the couch with a groan. This wasn't going to be easy.

~0~

A loud knocking on his door woke Dean up and he groaned sitting up.

"I'm coming!" he shouted frustrated and moved to open it and Sam fell in.

"You forgot me"

"Shit" he muttered looking at the time, 2.35pm, and gasped in horror. "I've been asleep for nearly 8 hours! I'm sorry Sammy, major hangover"

"It's fine" he laughed shutting the door behind him. "Been celebrating?"

"Something like that" he muttered pulling out his phone to see 2 messages, one from Sam and one from Lisa, he didn't see one from the one he wanted most.

"Well, congrats! Newly engaged man, never thought I would see the day"

"Why's that?" he said curiously.

"Because you used to be a whore"

"Hey! I was a teenager with raging hormones!" he protested and went to get some juice.

"So? Lisa has finally calmed you down then?"

Dean nodded and remained silent.

"You okay?" he said seeing the frown in his forehead and looking over him concerned.

"Yeah…just tired and ill I guess, so how is uni and the new girlfriend?"

"Really good so far and she's good, I can't wait for you to meet her" he admitted with a small loved up smile.

"It'll be you next!"

"Marriage? We've just started going out!" he cried making Dean chuckle.

He looked down at his phone again wondering whether or not to call him.

"Waiting for a call? You are staring at that thing like you are waiting for something"

"Cas" he muttered.

"Oh! Is he alright, I need to catch up with him as well"

"I'm sure you'll see him later and yeah…something happened last night and I am bit worried"

"Oh right, what?"

Dean shook his head tapping his phone against his palm. "Something stupid but…it felt really right"

Sam blinked confused to what he was saying and held up a hand.

"I'm confused, something that happened to him or both of you?"

"Both of us…"

"What happened?" he insisted but Dean shook his head again not wanting to discuss it with his brother he had kissed his best friend.

"It don't matter" he said with a sigh and moved to the living room to sit down.

"You are acting really strange Dean"

"Aren't I always?" he smirked leaning back and looking up to him.

"Yeah but you are even more strange today, last night must have really affected you"

Dean looked away and nodded thinking back to the kiss. "Yeah, it really did".

~0~

"Spill"

"I can't, Anna!"

"You can't or you won't?" she cried pointing a threatening finger at him.

"Both! Leave it alone" he warned crossing his arms and looking away from her.

"Just tell me where you were then"

"Dean's"

"Dean? Has…has something happened?" she gasped and he turned to glare at her.

"No!" he cried hoping the lie wouldn't be uncovered, he was a terrible liar.

But somehow she believed him and threw up her hands in defeat.

"Fine! Be like that, I'm going for a bath, you can stay here and sulk mister"

He stuck his tongue out at her and watched her leave to the bathroom, he hadn't spoken to him all day and all he could think about was last night. It did something to him and he wanted more of him, it hurt to think that right now he could be all over Lisa or worse. He curled up and rested his chin on top of his knee staring at the flickering images of the television.

His phone buzzed unexpectedly and saw a message from Dean asking him to meet him.

He text him back asking where and when to receive a quick one, his place because Sam was staying at his girlfriends and Lisa wasn't back till tomorrow.

He took a deep breath to muster courage and set off to his house wondering what he could possibly want from him.

"What do you want from me?"

Dean looked up at him as he walked in and shut the door behind him.

"Er, it's called knocking and I answer Cas"

"Why? It was open?" he frowned.

Dean brushed it away and leaned against the counter staring at him.

Castiel felt insecure and slightly intimidated under his watchful gaze and shifted looking around the house before setting his eyes on him.

"What?"

"I can't stop myself from thinking about last night…it's hurting my head"

"I know"

"Why does it feel wrong but also right! I mean, this isn't us, we don't do this sort of stuff and normally I could brush it aside but it won't go away" he cried and started to pace up and down the kitchen. Castiel watched his every move and feeling his heart pick up its pace ever so slightly at his words.

"I don't know, Dean" he murmured looking at the carpet and feeling scared to look at him. "You did say last night that I was the spark missing in your…relationship"

"I did?" he said and stopped pacing to look at him in shocked horror.

"Yes".

"I can't remember that….okay, I want to try something! We did this drunk right? I was drunk; you were tipsy…so let's try it sober"

"What?"

"You heard me, Cas"

He blinked and tried to digest his words, Dean walking closer to him so he was stood in front of him.

"You want to kiss me again?"

"Or you kiss me, either way, let's just test it okay? Just once" he murmured feeling his confidence slacken slightly but kept it up.

"Okay"

Castiel took charge this time by grabbing the front of his t-shirt and pulling him down into a hard but gentle kiss. Dean groaned as the spark burst into light and opened his mouth slightly to allow him gently in, Cas gently slid his tongue into his mouth and kissed him fiercely with their mouths moving gently against each other.

Without a single care, Dean slid his arms around his waist and pulling him closer, Castiel wrapping his arms around his neck moaning into the kiss. It was different than last night, this time they both knew what they were doing. Dean moved his hands across his hip bones trailing his fingers across them gently making him squirm and moan into his mouth and parting from him gasping.

"Well?"

"Yep, spark" he muttered thickly staring down at his lips wanting more than anything to do it all over again.

"Go on then, I can see it in your…" he said and was cut off as Dean silenced him with his kiss and backed him up against the kitchen counter.

Castiel being daring and knowing this could be his one and only chance of having him all to himself bit down on his bottom lip gently and tugged on it and relished the sound of Dean gasping and moaning.

"That was slightly kinky" he muttered with a small smile touching his bottom lip.

"Oh you've seen nothing" he murmured huskily and pulled him down into another kiss, Dean moving his hand up his top feeling his stomach muscles and tracing his ribs gently before reaching his nipple and tweaking it.

Castiel felt his cock twitch to life and closed his eyes with a loud sigh.

"Dean…" he muttered arching against him.

"Yes?" he smiled stroking it gently.

"I thought it was just a kiss"

"It is, I am being experimental" he whispered taking his hand away much to Cas' disappointment but was rewarded when he moved to his neck and placed hot kisses along it to the hollow in his neck.

He tilted his head back gripping his shoulders tightly with a loud moan.

"Well, well, Cas, who knew you were vocal like this" Dean muttered gripping the top of his hair and pulling him forward making him gasp at the pain and pleasure of having his hair pulled.

"This is nothing"

"Cas, are you trying to tell me something" he murmured gently in his ear and kissed underneath it gently not caring at all right now, he was right in front of him, he wanted it and it felt so right it was quite scary.

"No, was just saying I can be a lot more vocal than this" he whispered back and closed his eyes feeling his teeth graze the sensitive spot against his neck.

"I could make you scream" he muttered pulling his hair gently and chuckled to himself.

"Yes, god yes" he moaned and looked into his eyes.

"Dean, what is happening? Why have…"

"Don't question! Because it will mess things up if we start to think about it…all I know is right now, you are all I can think about, I don't know why, I don't know what it means for…anything, but can we just do this?"

Castiel stared for a long moment and considered it, it was this or nothing his brain screamed at it him and he listened to it and nodded slowly.

"Yes"

"Brilliant" Dean muttered in relief moving down to kiss him gentler this time and savouring the taste of him.

Castiel kissed him and pulled himself closer to him wrapping himself in his cocoon of warmth and relief flooded through him so fast it physically hurt, this is what he had wanted for so long but no one gets what they want without a prize to pay in the end, no one.


	5. Chapter 5

It had been 3 days since there little "arrangement" and Dean was happier than he had been in a while.

"You are seriously happy dude" Sam muttered as they sat in the café eating lunch.

"So? Why, should I be I be miserable?"

"Nope" Sam muttered with a smile watching his brother beam a little and look lost in thought.

He watched as Dean looked up when the door went and his mouth turn up in a small smile to see Castiel stroll in and smile at them both.

"Sam! Long-time no see" he cried sitting down on the opposite chair next to them.

"Good to see you Cas but I've been here 3 days! Where have you been?"

"Busy with my course I'm doing" he cried and looked towards Dean fighting back a smile.

"I.C.T isn't it?"

"Mmm, quite boring but it's good to learn something new but how about you! How's Stanford and law school?"

"Brilliant, I am really enjoying it but been boring Dean"

"Non-stop" Dean muttered with a roll of his eyes, Cas glancing at him amused.

"You might learn something"

"About law? Rules are made to be broken aren't they? There, that's all you need to know" Dean muttered flashing him a look making him bite his lip and turn to look at Sam. Sam was looking between them very confused; it was like they held a big secret and were not very good at hiding it.

"You two are acting strange"

"We're acting fine! Shut up and eat your health food shit!"

"At least I won't die from cholesterol" Sam sneered and dodged Dean's kick at him from under the table.

"You are an ass!" Sam cried while Dean flashed him a grin.

"I gotta head off, class in 20 minutes" Cas muttered looking to Dean who nodded at him and to Sam gave the thumbs up.

"Well see you later" he cried and "accidently" left his phone on the table before hurrying out.

"Oh! He left his phone" Sam cried holding it up while Dean took it and ran after him.

"Cas, you left this" he shouted shaking it at him while Castiel beckoned him over.

Dean shook his head amused and walked over to him handing it over when Cas looked around the almost deserted street and pushed him into an empty alleyway and against the wall.

"Oh, here of all places?" he murmured with a grunt the coldness of the brick wall seeping into his t-shirt.

"I get 5 minutes" he muttered and pulled him into a deep kiss.

Dean groaned wrapping his hand into his hair and pulling him flush against his chest breathing in his warm minty scent and tasting the vanilla on his tongue. They parted for oxygen and Dean looked into the depths of his eyes seeing lust, heat and something more, something different that he knew would scare him if he looked hard enough.

"I need you later on"

"What about…" he said and didn't say her name, it made him feel very guilty.

"She's busy with work lately, please" he whispered kissing the corner of his mouth.

"I have an assignment due in tomorrow" he whispered and gasped as Dean slid his cold hand down his pants and grabbed his cock in his hand gently.

"You were saying?"

Castiel gaped wordlessly at him and nodded. "I'll be there"

Dean smirked and nodded kissing him before letting go and letting him to stumble back a little breathing hard.

"See you later" he said with a casual wink before heading back to the café leaving an amazed Cas behind him looking down at his now hard cock pulsating and aching.

"Great" he muttered pressing a hand to it and breathing to turn himself off and started to feel it edge away slowly.

Sam looked at him as he came back in looking flushed and excited.

"You took your time"

"Talked to him for a moment since he was here a matter of 10 seconds, sorry mum"

"Hilarious" Sam glared and sipped his drink thoughtfully watching Dean rub his lips together and a wistful look appear in his eye as he looked down at the table.

His phone buzzed and he picked it up and smiled evilly.

"_You've made me horny. I hate you sometimes, it won't go away!_"

Dean text back a quick reply.

"_I'll sort it out later, I promise!"_

"_You better or you'll get nothing for a whole month! Believe me"_

Dean chuckled to himself and stopped when Sam eyed him curiously.

"Dean, what's going on?"

"Nothing! My god, you are so suspicious these days Sammy; this is law school isn't it?"

"Shut up, Dean"

They parted ways with Sam going to see Jess and Dean back home to Lisa who was sat at her desk tapping her pen in deep concentration.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Not really, work is stressing me out…I'm going to my sister's tonight if that's alright"

"Sure" he muttered kissing the top of her head.

"I feel like the world and her mother is placing everything on top of me and then there is the wedding!"

"We said we would wait a year or two for that, remember?"

She nodded with a sigh and looked up at him smiling gently. "I love you"

"I know, you too"

She rolled her eyes and got up pecking him on the cheek and going upstairs to pack her things for her overnight stay. Dean felt the guilt gnaw away at him from the inside, he knew cheating on her was wrong but he couldn't help it, Cas was like his new found drug and he needed him more than ever.

~0~

Castiel remembered to knock this time and waited until he opened with raised eyebrows.

"I really see no point in me knocking Dean" he cried when Dean pulled him in and wrapped his arms around his waist.

"Because I said so and I am not the only one who lives here" he muttered kissing along his jaw.

"You really can't keep your hands off me, can you?"

"Nope" he cried heavily and pushed him up against the wall pressing his entire body against him and moving to nibble and suck at his neck. Cas gasped and moaned as he hit the sensitive parts of his neck, Dean could sense his enjoyment and arousal from the sounds coming from his mouth and the grip in his hair.

"You are going to pull my hair out" he murmured against the hot skin.

"Shut up" he whispered his voice heavy with arousal.

Dean moved away for a moment and tugged Cas' shirt over and off him throwing it across the floor, Cas doing the same as he tugged Dean's off and dropped it to the floor. He trailed a hand down his chest slowly watching as he bit his lip and looked at him with blown pupils.

"Come here" he murmured pulling him to him, Cas breath was hot and heavy in his ear and it made him go instantly hard. he moved his hands to his hips and moved his already hard cock to rub against his. The friction and the heat both making them hiss and cling to each other.

"Bedroom" Cas whispered huskily.

"Yes" he muttered and kissed him hard and pushing him towards the stairs and climbing up them carefully while still all over each other, hands touching heated skin, tongue and teeth clashing against each other in a frenzy, Castiel shoved him into the bedroom and on to bed straddling him.

"Why am I bottoming?" Dean demanded.

"Because you are" he cried fixing his mouth to the pulse on his neck and sucking on it making Dean lose his train of thought.

He slowly moved down his chest kissing and sucking along the skin gently watching him flush and turn red underneath him. He licked and teased one nipple gently; Dean gasped and grunted bucking his hips against him.

Castiel moved off him and unbuttoned his jeans tugging them down with his boxers so he was fully naked. He gasped a little at his naked form and bit his lip hard drinking up the sight.

"Ogling my glory are you?"

"Just a bit"

Castiel threw them to the side and parted his thighs stroking down them gently with his index finger causing Dean to pant heavily and his erection strain leaking pre-cum.

"Cas, please" he begged when he stroked the slit gently with his thumb.

"Beg" he muttered wickedly.

"I never beg" he cried loudly.

Castiel moved his own jeans and pants before moving between his legs so there cocks rubbed together making them both moan gently, he grabbed his wrists pinning them above his head and smiling evilly to himself grabbed a belt and tied them together.

"You…you bastard" he whispered in shock trying to move his hands but to no avail.

"Beg, Dean, beg and I'll let you go" he whispered hand moving up and down the shaft but only touching slightly.

"I hate you" Dean moaned arching his hips off the bed panting hard and fast looking over at him. Cas leaned down and hovered his mouth over the head off it and breathing soft but hot air on to it, his cock quivered and twitched under it making Dean nearly scream.

"Fuck!" Dean yelled and glared down at him.

"You know what to do, Dean…I want you to beg me"

Castiel licked the bead of pre-cum leaving it on his tongue and moving down and kissing him, Dean sweeping his tongue across Cas' and tasting himself. He grimaced a little at the saltiness but shook it off by kissing him hard.

"Fine, please! Please do it!" he whispered in his ear.

"Do what?"

"Suck me off! Fuck me! I don't care, I am begging you" he hissed closing his eyes.

"Anything you wish"

Castiel moved down between his legs and licked gently up and down the shaft and across the bumps and veins he sucked along gently much to Dean's pleasure. He closed his eyes moaning softly at the feeling, it was so overwhelming.

Cas soon grow tired of teasing and took him fully in his mouth and sucked along the thick and velvety cock.

"Holy fuck!" Dean gasped out and bucked his hips fucking into his mouth, Cas deep throating him over and over again.

"Cas, I'm gonna…" he muttered before shuddering all over and with a cry of ecstasy and a blind of white light he shot his load into his mouth. Castiel swallowed down the hot, white liquid and came off the cock gently with a smug smile. Castiel reached up and untied him not realising Dean was plotting.

Seizing his chance, Dean flipped them over so he was now on top and smiled down at him.

"My turn"

Castiel smiled up at him when Dean pushed his legs further apart and started to kiss down the inner thigh. Cas could feel his stubble scratch along it gently making him harder than ever as he reached his groin and nuzzled it gently.

"You are good" Castiel gasped out gripping onto his hair.

"Oh, I know but I am about to be so much better" he muttered going into his drawer and pulling out lubricant.

"I bought some the other day" he muttered as Cas frowned quizzical.

Breaking it open he squeezed some onto his fingers and brushed one against Cas entry making him squirm and gasp under his touch before sliding his finger inside him. It was painful for a long moment before he adjusted to Dean widening him and then sliding in a second wiggling around until he stroked the prostrate.

Castiel gasped loudly in pleasure at the tightness and heat of them two fingers deep inside him.

"Dean, I need you, now!" he hissed.

"My pleasure" he muttered pulling them out slowly and lubricating up his cock as he lined up against his entry. Castiel wrapped his legs around his waist to give him more access and pressed his lips together in slight fear of what was next.

"You ready?" Dean murmured and he nodded slowly.

Dean pushed himself inside him with a thrust, Castiel gasping and clutching his shoulders in shock to being impaled that fast. Dean grit his teeth and waited till he adjusted to him and he soon did. He ever so slowly started to move and thrust deep inside him. Castiel closed his eyes in pure pleasure.

This was something he hadn't felt in a long time and of all people he got to share it with again, it got to be the one person he loved more than the world.

"Dean" he whispered scraping his nails down his back slowly making him gasp and thrust into him harder and deeper. Castiel was so hot and tight around Dean's cock he knew he wouldn't last long; he moved his hand down to Cas' neglected cock and started to move up and down the shaft at the pace of his thrusts.

"Oh my…" he panted out his back arching off the bed and his one free hand clutching the sheets of his bed.

"Are you close?"

"Fuck! Yes" he muttered and with a wordless cry he came fast into Dean's waiting hand and on to their stomachs.

"Cas!" he cried moments later and shot his seed deep inside him feeling it trickle hot and fast into his entry hole and some of it leaking out.

Dean pulled out and collapsed on his chest in exhaustion, Castiel stroking his hair softly and sighing content.

"Um, wow" Dean murmured turning his head to lie on his chest.

"I know" he whispered closing his eyes and feeling the aftershocks of his orgasm die down completely. Dean moved up and kissed him gently, this had confirmed it now. This was now more than friendship and there was no going back now, they had sex which meant things would be so different.

Dean rolled off him and lay on his side of his bed and pulled Cas into his arms and wrapped his arms around his frame. Castiel sighed and kissed his sweat chest gently before drifting off into a sex related exhausted sleep. Dean watched him for a moment before smiling and nodding to himself, this was totally worth it.

**Please review lovely people!**


	6. Chapter 6

Castiel leaned against his chest with his head resting against his shoulder and watched him play with his fingers. Dean admired them as he intertwined them and breathed gently into his ear.

"Who knew fingers could be so fascinating to you" he murmured and felt Dean chuckle behind him.

"What else is there to do at half 3 in the morning"

"Well…" he whispered and smirked when he felt him bite and suck the back of his neck.

"We've already done it twice"

"True" he whispered and turned over in his arms to look at him; he swallowed gently and tried to gain the confidence to say it.

"Dean?"

"Mmm?"

"What are we?"

Dean frowned in confusion looking down at him.

"We're humans?"

"Funny, no, what are we? Me and you? I mean, we've had sex Dean; you have cheated on her in the worst possible way now and well…"

He groaned and looked away from him and knew this was coming, he knew the questions would start and he didn't like it.

"Just drop it, Cas"

"How can I!"

"Because it's just sex"

He blinked and looked towards him shocked.

"What?"

"Shit! That came out totally wrong…what I meant was, me and you isn't complicated, isn't full of drama and it's so good"

"What are you trying to say?"

"That me and you strangely enough work and I want to continue but not change anything"

"You want an affair?"

"Well no and yes, I mean I don't want to hurt her but I don't want this to end" he murmured bringing him closer and tilting his chin up towards him.

He looked away from him and Dean couldn't stand the hurt in his eyes.

"I know I am being a selfish dick but that's the way I feel, it's up to you now because if you want to we'll end this now and try and move on from it"

"That can't happen, not after this…"

"So, what now?"

Castiel reached up and cradled his cheek in his hand staring into his eyes wondering what to do, he knew this was very wrong and cheating wasn't something he did and Dean did but it was happening. He knew if he told him it was now over he couldn't resist him.

He looked into the depths of his eyes and decided to wait it out, he would wait until the right moment to either end it or make him choose because there was no way he was going to let him have his cake and eat it.

"We carry on"

"You sure?"

"Yes" he whispered and kissed him sealing the deal.

Dean nodded surprised and held him close closing his eyes, Cas resting against his chest and listening to his heartbeat with a heart full of dread and love for him that he couldn't overtake, no matter what.

~0~

"Castiel, a word please" his college tutor called to him the next day when he was in lesson.

"Jeremy?"

"I would like to inform you since you are the last to know that we are taking a trip this Friday for 1 week"

"Oh, where?"

"Chicago to visit a little place called Nations to look at the databases there, I need you packed and ready"

"It's free?"

"Oh and additional $50, I hope this is okay?"

"Fine" he muttered to Jeremy's delight as he patted him on the back and walked off.

"I'm going to Chicago" Cas whispered to himself and picked up his bag and walked out and back home to see Anna.

"Chicago for a week? Wow! You are so lucky"

"You think?" he muttered leaning back on the couch in deep thought.

"Yes! You get out from under my feet for a whole week" she cried and dodged his kick at her.

"Oh aren't you hilarious!"

"I am thank you, it'll be good for you and you get to get out of here for while"

He nodded and then his thoughts went to Dean and he realised he would have to leave him for a week and swallowed hard.

He hadn't seen him for two days apart from the occasional text now and again; he was finding it difficult now because he needed him more than ever.

"Hey, are you and Dean okay by the way?"

"What makes you say that?" he spat back quickly much to her alarm.

Anna shrugged and eyed him curiously.

"I haven't seen him in two days and you two see each other every day"

"I've been busy and so has he, he has a rush on at work with a badly wrecked car and a pissed off gentleman"

"Oh right"

He looked out the window to the bleak grey sky and it felt like his mood was reflecting back on him, he hadn't seen him in days and he didn't know when due to him being stuck at Lisa's side 24/7.

Dean was working into the dead of night on the car.

"Stupid stuck up dickhead and his precious fucking car" Dean growled throwing his spanner down and closing up for the night.

He knew one person he wanted to speak to right now and it wasn't home, he picked up his phone and rang him.

"Hello" he cried gently down the phone.

"I miss the sound of your voice"

"That isn't cheesy at all, Cas" he smirked walking down the road slowly.

"I don't care! How are you?"

"I'm okay I really do miss you though and I miss all of you"

"When can I see you? Because really soon could be good right now"

"I don't know…I'm really busy lately, pub tomorrow?"

"I can't…"

"Why?"

Castiel hesitated and shook his head. "Don't matter"

"You sound like you are keeping something from me"

"I may be"

Dean stopped in the street and frowned puzzled. "Well stop keeping secrets and tell me"

"I'm going away for a while"

"What?"

"Look, come round tomorrow and I'll tell you…morning preferably"

"Okay, where are you going by the way?"

"Chicago"

"Chicago!" he cried shocked and heard Castiel laugh softly down the phone.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow and remember to be early"

Dean heard him hang up and looked down at it in complete shock.

"Chicago?" he said to himself and couldn't wait till tomorrow.

~0~

Dean waited till he thought Anna would of gone to work and banged on the door.

"Okay, calm down" Castiel said and opened it up to a smiling Dean.

Dean looked him up and down, he couldn't help but smile at what he was wearing and how he looked. Castiel was wearing a simple blue dressing gown and his hair was sticking up from sleep.

"You look gorgeous" he murmured inviting himself him and grabbing hold of him.

"Seriously? I have bed hair"

"Gorgeous" he muttered and pushed him to the kitchen table, grabbing his hips and placing him on top of it.

"Anna is gone isn't she?"

"I think so" he muttered and didn't remember her leaving but she must have he thought glancing to the clock. He spread his legs letting him come into them and wrapped them around his waist.

"I think we forgot the hello's" he whispered bringing him down to a kiss.

Dean swept his tongue across the roof of his mouth tasting his toothpaste and wrinkling his nose a little at the taste.

"Hello"

Castiel smiled and bit his lip looking up at him feeling better now he could touch and kiss him all over again with no worries at all.

"So, what is Chicago?"

"Oh yeah, I am going to Chicago tonight with my class for a week"

"A fucking week? What? Why?"

"To look at databases" he grimaced wrapping his arms around his neck with a sigh.

"The fuck? Why would you want to do that!" he muttered scowling hard and away from him.

"I know it's a long time but we can do it, can't we?"

"Yes but I am going to miss you like crazy!" he whispered moving down to kiss his neck, Cas tilting it to give him more access. He still tasted warm from his sleep and he could taste the faint aroma of shower gel and something more, something sweet.

"It'll give you time to think"

"Think about what?" he murmured against his skin.

"Us"

"Not this again, Cas, I told you already!"

"Yes I know but it the time apart may let you see things!" he cried annoyed and pushed him back a little.

"Oh don't get annoyed at me before you leave" he muttered with a deep sigh stroking his cheek. His annoyance evaporated and he softened under his touch.

"Okay"

"Good" he whispered kissing him more deeply this time and bringing him so close so he could arch against him beautifully.

~0~

Unknown to them, Anna hadn't left for work and it was her day off, Anna was watching from her door silently in horror listening to every word and watching every action in complete horror. She closed her eyes and pressed a hand to her mouth not knowing what to do, would she tell Lisa or let it slide because she loved Castiel more.

"Oh what have you done, Cas?" she whispered agonised at her decision.

**Please review!**


	7. Chapter 7

Dean ran a hand through his hair fluffing it more and gripped it tight with a deep moan; Castiel was kissing him like he was dying and not in goodbye.

He felt him bite down softly on his bottom lip and Dean grunted with the intensity and pulled him more forward staring into his eyes.

"Okay, you aren't leaving me" he whispered slipping his hand into his dressing gown and trailing his hand down his chest slowly.

He gasped when he felt Dean's thumb stroke over his nipple feeling it harden under his touch. He smiled gently and kissed his exposed throat gently and grazed over it with his teeth.

"You have work" Castiel whispered breathing hot puffs of air into his ear.

"You're more important" he whispered tipping him onto the table.

"No way! We are not fucking on my kitchen table Dean; Anna will kill me if she ever found out"

Dean pulled him back up laughing and wrapping his hands around his neck stroking the sides gently.

"Okay, I will see you in a week but hear from you tonight, understand me?"

"Yes" he muttered smiling at him amused.

Dean sighed deeply before letting go of him and pulling him up with his hand and pouting slightly.

"I don't want to leave, why are you leaving me?"

"I'm not! It's a trip, Dean!"

He reached up kissing him hard and shoving him to the door.

"Go!"

"Fine! I want a call tonight or I'll hunt you down"

He nodded and shut the door behind him with a shake of his head and going into the bedroom to get dressed.

Anna who was still listening opened it slowly and let out a deep breath, she crept to the door opened it and closed it silently counting under her breath until she opened it again and made her fake entrance.

"Cas?" she cried and he walked out startled to see her.

"Anna?"

"Hey! I don't have work today and I just saw Dean, why was here?"

"Saying goodbye, he just popped in" he cried with a small smile and moved to the kitchen.

Anna watched him carefully and swallowed hard wondering whether or not to confront him about this situation or leave it till he got back.

"Castiel, me and you have been friends for a long time now and we tell each other everything don't we?"

He froze slightly and turned slowly around to look at her sombre expression. He shrugged and nodded in agreement and waited breathing deeply for her to continue.

"So if there is something you aren't telling me, tell me now"

"Anna?"

"Cas! Just tell me" she insisted slamming her hand on the table getting both angry and upset.

"What do you want me to tell you?"

"Tell me the truth"

"The truth about what!" he cried loudly.

"About you and Dean! I saw you, Castiel! I was in my bedroom because I never left for work!" she shouted to him and he went rigid moving away from her and hitting the counter in horror.

"Oh no" he breathed looking away from her.

"Oh yes! What the hell is going on?" she cried gesturing at him madly.

"I don't know how to…"

"Start from the bloody beginning!"

"It happened about a week ago, we went out and he got really, really drunk and he pushed up against a wall…things got heated and the next thing I know he is kissing me and I'm kissing him back, we ended up sleeping on his couch after that and from then on it started!" he said and sat down next to her with a heavy sigh.

"He asked for a sober kiss which I granted and a few days ago we slept together"

"Fucking hell" she breathed looking at him with wide eyes filled with horror. "Did not one of you think of the other party in this little affair?"

"Yes! I asked him to end it but he won't, he says he just wants…"

"Please do not tell me all he wants is sex" she whispered and he shrugged.

Anna sat back and hit her palm against her forehead.

"Sex! It's always about sex, sex is everything these days! He is an engaged man Castiel, he is engaged to one of my closest friends! This is bullshit!"

"Are you going to tell her?"

"No I'm not because I can't hurt her! Dean has to do this, you can't continue behind her back!"

"Don't you think I know that, Anna? I feel so guilty every time I kiss him but I think you forget I have been in love with that man for over 7 years! Imagine if my situation was yours and he kissed you and touched you, are you telling me you wouldn't think, "Fuck it" and go wild?"

Anna looked at him for a very long moment before shrugging and looking down at her nails.

"I have never been in that position before but I do know it's heart-breaking for the third party! He has to tell her"

"He won't choose me" he whispered.

"What?"

"I know he won't…its lust for him and for me its love, I want more than anything for him to finish with her and be with me but it won't happen because he doesn't love me, not like that"

"Cas, you can't know that for sure?"

"I see it in his eyes all the time"

Anna touched his hand gently and he smiled gently at her before looking down at his other hand blinking at the tears in his eyes.

"What are you going to do?"

"Nothing, I'll have to end it now"

"Give him the ultimatum, you tell him it's you or her"

"It'll be her!"

"You can't possibly know that Castiel, you are seeing what your brain is telling you and you never know what he is feeling for you right now"

He shook his head in defiance and stubbornness.

"You are one frustrating man sometimes! Fine, go to Chicago and take it easy, think, come back and we'll talk again"

Castiel nodded and moved to get up when he stopped to look at her.

"I know if I made him he will choose her and marry her, I known that from the moment he kissed me for the first time"

Anna frowned and watched him go into his bedroom and close the door behind him with a bang.

"Oh, Dean Winchester I am going to hurt you if you hurt him" she cried promising herself she would.

~0~

It was 3 days since he was gone and Dean was missing him like crazy, Lisa was noticing his snappiness and moods with her for no reason, he was sick of saying sorry.

He received a call from him in the middle of the day much to his delight.

"Hey! How is it? Still boring?"

"No, Dean" Castiel muttered walking along the street with his friend Steven.

"You miss me?"

"You know I do! It's horrible here without you, yeah I'll have two" he cried and nodded to Steven who gestured at him if he wanted a hot-dog.

"What?" Dean said confused.

"Oh no, not you, I was talking to Ste"

Dean blinked at the new name and stopped pursing his lips.

"Who's he?"

"He's my friend, why?"

"Nothing, is he straight?"

Castiel chuckled to himself hearing his jealously.

"I have no idea, is this jealously Dean? Because if it is you have no right to be jealous"

"No! I am not jealous and…hold on? I have no right!"

"Yes, you have no right to be jealous of me and if I am with another man because who is in the relationship here? Oh yes, you"

Dean huffed leaning against the wall licking along his bottom lip not quite liking what he was hearing.

"So you fucking with another man is meant to be alright with me?"

"What! Who said anything about fucking another man? I said your jealously is out of order Dean, I should be jealous not you"

"Whatever! Answer my question"

"What if he was and what if he was interested in me?" he muttered and raised a hand to Steven who was about to protest.

"Just let me" he mouthed to him.

"I would tell him to back the fuck off" he growled down the phone clenching his fist tightly.

"Why?"

"You know why!"

"Because were lovers Dean or maybe something more?" he said hinting at him.

"Both, you're mine"

Castiel bit his lip hard quite liking that fighting spirit inside him but hating it at the same time.

"But I'm not though am I? You are an engaged man"

"Where the hell is this coming from?" Dean shouted getting angry with him now and avoided the looks he was getting from people on the street.

"Weeks of pent up anger Dean! What do you even feel for me?"

"You know"

"No, I don't! You always distract me when I attempt to ask you about it, so come on lover, tell me!"

"Damn it, Cas" he cried and started to pace up and down running a hand though his hair.

"See, you can't and I understand okay, you are not good with confessions and feelings but…I don't think I can do this"

"No, no, please don't say that" he begged making Castiel close his eyes.

"Maybe I should fuck him like you said"

"No! Don't you dare, Cas" he shouted down the phone to him.

"Why shouldn't I? I mean you are still sleeping with her, why can't I sleep with someone else".

"Because…because you can't"

"Because you said so, Dean?" he whispered and felt his heart break apart at the words he was saying and Dean's angry breathing down the phone.

"You fuck him and we are over"

"Well you've already fucked her over and over again so I guess we are"

Dean stood still and stared into nothing.

"What?"

"You heard me" he whispered broken into his despair.

"You can't be serious"

"Deadly, goodbye Dean" he muttered and hung up the phone and covered his mouth, Steven came over and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Breathe Castiel, you've gone all pale mate" he said and he nodded in agreement taking deep breaths.

"Who was that?"

"My best friend and now my ex-lover" he whispered and closed his eyes feeling the pain rip inside him.

~0~

Dean walked straight home and into his empty house staring around in defeat. He picked up a photo of him and Lisa looking happy on a beach somewhere and with a grunt he smashed it hard against the wall releasing his anger. He dropped to the floor and hung his head feeling the despair wash over him.

"How has it come to this?" he whispered covering his face and silently breaking down at the mess he had caused and wondered what to do now, could he save it or was it too late?

**Please review!**


	8. Chapter 8

Castiel opened his front door and was greeted by a squealing Anna who threw her arms around him.

"I missed you!" she cried hugging him tight.

"Yeah, you too" he gasped out and she let go of him beaming.

"I know I said I was glad to be rid of you but it got so boring! Never leave Castiel"

"I won't" he said laughing lightly and pulled his suitcase in.

"How was it then?"

"Boring, long, and tiring" he muttered flopping down on the couch with a tired sigh.

"Well I'm glad you're back" she cried sitting down next to him.

He smiled and then it faltered a little as he stared away from her.

"Thinking of him?"

"I ended it Anna"

"What? When?"

"4 days ago, we had an argument on the phone and I ended it, we haven't spoken since then and I'm worried"

"Worried?"

"About him, Anna, despite everything he is still my best friend and I still love him, I will always love him"

"He's okay, bit moody lately and now I know why but…go see him then"

"No, it wouldn't help" he whispered.

Anna bit her lip and nodded patting his hand. "I'll go get us some tea, you chill"

"Thank you"

She nodded and walked to the kitchen and considered to herself.

"Am I really about to do this?" she muttered to herself and pulled out her phone and texted Dean.

_Cas is back, I am going out in an hour so if you want to see him, then would be a good time Dean. X_

She shut her phone and glanced towards him to see him flicking through the channels. Anna made the tea and sat with him before making her excuses and needed shopping, she hoped things would turn out alright.

Dean made his decision as soon as he got her message; he was seeing him no matter what. The past 4 days had been a misery for him and everyone around him with his moods and ignoring everyone.

"I'm going out" he muttered to Lisa who waved her hand in dismal to him.

"Still pissed off with me?"

"Still being an arrogant, moody, dickhead?" she cried back.

"Whatever" he mumbled slamming the door behind him.

He travelled over with determination that he would confront this matter and find out what was going on, he headed up the stairs and banged on his door.

Castiel sighed and knew who it was instantly when he opened it and was pushed aside when he forced himself in.

"So, back now are we?"

"It appears so, come on in" he muttered and slammed the door hard turning around to face him.

"Why didn't you tell me you were back?"

"I didn't have a reason to, I don't know if you re-call but I ended it, Dean"

"Cas! You are my best friend! Yes, I know what's happened but are we really going to cast that aside? Bit harsh to cut me out completely" he shouted angrily.

He sighed and looked away from him. "I don't know how we can be friends again after this, won't it be a little too difficult?"

"Not if we don't make it be or you can just take me back"

"No"

Dean swallowed hard and nodded looking down at his feet.

"Not while you are in a relationship, Dean, I won't do that to her"

"Fine" he muttered and let out a deep breath.

"You know it's wrong, you know what we are doing is wrong to her and well, you choose her"

"I never said that"

"You don't have to! It's speaking volumes here!"

Dean groaned and pressed a hand over his mouth staring at him.

"I do still love her Cas but, it's different, there's you now"

"Not anymore"

Dean scoffed and shook his head at him. "So this is it then? We just going to part ways now are we? Tell people we've just drifted apart, never touch, never talk, never anything" he hissed and watched as he flinched back and looked away with moisture in his eyes.

"What else are we supposed to do?"

"I don't know, try and remain friends? Please?" he pleaded. "Cas, if I can't have you like that then I want you in my life as my friend, I can't lose you, I can't".

He nodded in agreement and swallowed the bile he could feel rising in his throat.

"We'll try then"

"Good" he muttered and looked around the flat.

"So, first things first, how was Chicago?"

"Boring as hell, who knew I.C.T could be boring?" he muttered amused and sat at the table.

"I told you but you never listen! I.C.T is shit"

"It isn't! It depends on the subject" he cried and leaned back glaring at him.

"Oh if looks could kill I would be dead right now" he teased.

"Hilarious"

They caught each other's eye and looked away from each other. Dean was looking around when he noticed something in the living room.

"I tell you what, we haben't played on the game for a while"

"The last time we played I won and you got into a hissy fit"

"I did not! Come on, we are doing this" Dean muttered determined and went into the living room to turn on the TV and game.

"Killing zombies is just what I need" Castiel muttered with a grin and sat down next to him.

"I will win"

~0~

Anna returned to see them playing there game and sighed loudly.

"This stupid game again!"

"Yes" Dean muttered gritting his teeth staring hard at the screen tapping at his controller.

"He's getting moody with me because I am winning"

"You're not!" Dean cried and gently nudged him. "Oh look at that, you got shot"

Castiel stared at the screen and glared at him. "You nudged me!"

"Sore loser, Cas?" he laughed and gasped when he hit him on the arm hard.

"You two are like 5 year olds!" Anna cried going in and dumping her shopping on the table.

Castiel aimed a kick at him as he stood up. "Re-load it and I will win properly this time"

"Not a chance!" he muttered and re-loaded it.

He walked over to Anna who smiled gently at him.

"So?"

"We are trying to be friends again and it's working for now, bit difficult since all I want to do right now is kiss him so hard he'll break" he muttered in despair.

She rubbed his arm gently and rummaged in her bag and handed him chocolate.

"For your poor broken heart"

He laughed lightly and kissed her cheek. "Thank you; you've been my rock through this whole thing"

"I know I was a little harsh before you left and I know you love him but I am glad you've both seen sense and…well it still baffles me he is with her"

"Why do you say that?"

"Cas, you two have slept together, he obviously fancies you and maybe even loves you but what I don't understand is why he is still with her?"

"He said he loves her but it's different"

Anna sighed and shook her head looking over at him. "He is a bit of a puzzle that man"

"Oh I know, believe me"

Castiel returned back to him and snatched up his control and played the game.

Anna leant back against the counter with a little hum watching them both for a good while.

They were talking to each other but leaning unconsciously towards each other also, Castiel as always had the look of adoration and love in his eyes which never disappeared when he looked at him and Dean's was different, it was much more softer now and like he was so precious to him.

She shook her head wondering why she couldn't go over there and knock sense into them, she loved Lisa like a sister but sometimes in life, the one who is meant to be for you and be with you is always in front of you. Dean wasn't meant to be with her, he was meant to be with him.

She left them to it in the living room and went for a bath and an early night. Dean soon turned off the game and they lay back watching TV in silence when Dean's favourite programme came on.

"You love this" Cas muttered looking over to him at his sudden interest.

"Only a little"

"A little? What's the recent storyline?"

"Tasha is sleeping with her half-brother and they don't know that yet! Kerry is also in love with her sister's boyfriend and they kissed…"

Castiel laughed and Dean glared folding his arms over in annoyance.

"Oh you are a soap whore!"

"I am not! It's a guilty pleasure"

"Clearly when you are practically getting all giddy over it" he mumbled amused at him.

"I am going to hit you if you don't shut up right now"

"Oh, why? Am I making you miss it?" he teased and laughed when he covered his mouth with his hand shushing him.

"You are such a pain!" Dean cried and watched with interest as his soap kicked in.

They sat in silence with Castiel glancing over to him now and again amused at his whole façade that he wasn't that interested but was every time he gasped and awed at the screen.

"I will never forget this Dean, never, and I will hold it to you all your life"

"Oh shut up!" he muttered and turned away from him.

Castiel covered his mouth shaking with uncontrollable laughter. "I don't know why it's so amusing"

"Because you are an asshole"

"Oh low blow" he muttered sobering up and leaning against the couch watching him.

"I know, sorry" he muttered and turned to look at him with a slight smile.

Castiel watched him for a long moment before turning back to the TV with a small hidden smile.

~0~

It hit 11pm when Dean started to feel the waves of sleep hit him and looked to see Castiel dozing next to him and leaning against his shoulder.

"Come on, Cas" he muttered wrapping him in his arms and pulling him up, he stumbled a little moaning and Dean had to drag him into the bedroom and lay him on the bed.

Cas rolled towards him and sighed gently in his sleep, Dean watched him for a long moment before moving down and kissing his temple gently.

"Night, Cas"

He stroked down his cheek softly and savoured the feeling of his stubble and the softness of his skin underneath his fingertips. Castiel leaned into his touch and opened one eye to look up at him.

"I don't think this is what friends do" he murmured sleepily.

"Rules are made to be broken" he whispered gently.

"Mmm, if you say so" he muttered and reached up to hold his hand in his own.

"Sleep" Dean chuckled and gently removed his hand from him when Castiel pulled him down and kissed him softly making him gasp into his mouth. He moved closer and kissed him back moaning into it at his taste and scent.

Cas pulled away and closed his eyes dropping off to sleep.

"You'll regret that tomorrow" he murmured amazed and licked his bottom lip quite enjoying it. He knew it wasn't over, it was far from over but the circumstances were different because of his relationship and he knew Castiel wouldn't do it so he had to decide and soon.

Who did he love more: Castiel or Lisa?

**Please review! **


	9. Chapter 9

Anna looked Castiel up and down the next morning confused to why he looked pained with his head in his hands.

"What's up with you?" she cried fluffing her hair up and getting ready for work.

"I kissed him last night! I was half asleep and he was there and my heart said do it so like an idiot I kissed him"

"Oh" she muttered grimacing slightly. "Oh well, you've both done worse"

"Rub it in why don't you"

"Well you have! Right, see you at the pub at 6?"

He nodded and she fluttered her fingers at him before leaving for work. He looked down at his coffee and stirred it aimlessly and picked up his phone.

_I'm sorry for last night by the way, we broke the rules and it won't happen again"_

He sent it quickly and knew Dean wouldn't take to it very well when his phone buzzed.

_Okay._

Castiel grimaced and knew he had pissed him off or upset him, he threw it down and sighed feeling like an idiot and horrible for doing that to him. He moved away and went to get dressed with a heavy heart.

~0~

"Dick" Dean muttered throwing down his phone on the table and looking up to see Lisa staring at him.

"Hey"

"Hey" she whispered back walking over to him and holding his hand. "Is everything okay?"

"Just work problems, are you okay?"

"More than fine now we are okay again"

He smiled gently at her before removing his hand and sipping his drink.

"We are going out tonight"

"Oh, where?"

"Just the local with Anna and Cas"

He swallowed and nodded slowly. "Can I pass?"

"Oh let me think, no!" she muttered tapping him on the nose and stealing his toast.

"Why though? I'm not in the mood"

"Dean, you are coming and that is that!" she shouted walking upstairs.

"Great" he muttered and knew being in his company was going to prove very, very difficult.

He pulled on his jacket and headed off to work to be greeted by Bobby handing him a coffee.

"At least that blooming car is gone"

"Finally, that stuck up prick was annoying" he said and nodded in thanks.

"You finally cheered up yet?"

"You know me Bobby"

Bobby nodded and started work on his car. Dean was quiet and thoughtful while watching him.

"Bobby?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever been in love?"

Bobby looked up at him baffled and nodded slowly. "My wife, why?"

"Have you ever loved two people at the same time?"

"When I was a teenager I loved two girls but it didn't end well"

"Oh right" he whispered playing with the spanner in his hands.

"Is someone in love with someone else?"

"Maybe"

Bobby put down his tools and moved to stand in front of him. "Are you in love with someone else, Dean?"

"I think so…it's someone I have known for a while and I think I might be but I don't know"

"Who is she?"

He swallowed and took a deep breath. "No one you know"

He didn't like lying to him but for now it was the best thing to do for everyone. Bobby frowned and pursued his lips considering.

"Well they always say you should choose the second person you fell in love with because if you loved the first then you wouldn't have fallen in love with the second…or something"

"So go with your other person?"

"Yeah if you like but it all depends on who makes you happy son, who makes you smile when you think about them and shit like that"

"Fed up of chick-flick moments?" Dean stated amused when he nodded in agreement and moved away from him picking up his work tools.

"You just need to figure out who you love and who you can't live without. You'll make the right decision, Dean, just don't go breaking hearts boy!"

Dean nodded and looked down and throughout the whole conversation only one person came to mind, Cas.

He smiled and knew he loved him, he had always loved him deep down and it took jealously and a drunken kiss to make him realise this.

~0~

Castiel returned home from a long day at college and wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed and sleep for days on end.

"No, get dressed! We are going pub" Anna cried making him groan loudly.

"Sleep!"

"No, plenty of time for that later! Go!" she ordered shoving him in where he got dressed and followed her out to their local.

Castiel took a deep breath and walked in behind Anna to see Dean at the bar talking with Jo and Lisa at the table waving Anna over. He walked over to him and stood next to him, Jo grinning at him in response.

"Hey you! Long-time no see, how was Chicago?"

"Boring" he muttered and passed her the money for his beer.

"He still won't believe me when I tell him I.C.T is really, really, boring and will get him nowhere in life" Dean said with a grin when Castiel nudged him hard.

"Shut up".

Dean raked his eyes over him and sighed a little longily, he had to wear that black top that made his abs stand out and contrast his eyes making them even bluer.

"Stop ogling me" Cas smirked and looked away from him.

"I'm not" he whispered gently.

Castiel looked over to see Lisa and Anna in deep discussion.

"He's been really weird with me" Lisa said twisting her hands together and rubbing her engagement ring.

"It's work Lisa, I wouldn't worry"

"I don't think it is! I mean, everything has gone downhill since we've got engaged, our sex-life, our talks, everything" she hissed close to tears.

Anna felt so guilty she felt like telling her there and then what was happening but couldn't for Cas' sake. Lisa bit her lip and flicked her hair back sniffing deeply.

"I mean, I love him you know? I really do and I want him back to his old self and not this!"

"Just talk to him"

"I've tried!" she hissed and covered a hand over her eyes breathing deeply. "I have but he cuts me off"

Anna looked up to them to see them casually eye-fucking one another and grimaced.

"Subtlety was never a big key" she murmured to herself.

"What?" Lisa said picking up on it and frowned confused.

"Nothing, ignore me" Anna said with a bark of laughter and took a swig of her wine.

Lisa frowned and looked down at her wine and then up to Dean, she watched him and Castiel for a moment. She watched them carefully and knew something wasn't quite right, not right at all.

"Toilet" Dean muttered giving Cas the hint to follow him.

Castiel followed him as they went together and when they were alone in the corridor, he shoved him into an empty enclosed part.

"What are you doing? Why am I here?" Castiel whispered staring up at him.

"This" Dean muttered and pulled his chin up kissing him hard and deeply, he crushed him closer to him and drank in his warmth.

Castiel struggled for a moment but gave in moments later and wrapped his arms around his neck with a sigh pushing his tongue into his mouth and against Dean's.

"Why?" Cas murmured.

"Because you look so fucking gorgeous right now, I want you, I need you and most of all…I choose you" he whispered making Castiel stare at him in shock.

"What?" he breathed and brought him closer so they were flush against each other's chests.

"You, I want you" he whispered staring into his eyes.

Castiel felt his mouth form into a smile and he bit his lip.

"Don't you dare fuck around with me!"

"Why would I? I am going to end it with her, I want you and you alone and I can't drag her along for the ride"

Castiel let out a deep breath brought him down into another kiss. "What made you change your mind or make it?"

"Bobby did with his wise words and I know who I want, who I need, who I can't live without…it's you".

Castiel beamed and brought his hands up to his neck and leaned his forehead against his.

"Good" he whispered kissing him with open eyes.

Lisa returned from her own trip to the toilets with wide eyes and a pale face.

"Lisa? Oh my god, are you okay?" Anna said concerned and she nodded slowly.

"Yeah just…um, yeah" she murmured and downed her drink in one gulp with a shaky hand.

"Anna?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever in your life seen something or overheard something and it scares you, it scares you so much that you can't breathe, you can't think because of the shock and then it makes you realise what is important to you?"

"I can't say I have…why?" she replied confused as Lisa shook her heard staring into space, a little plan in her head.

Lisa was quiet throughout the whole night and didn't respond to anything apart from an occasional nod and smile. It hit 10pm when she turned to Dean and being careful not to touch him leaned into his ear.

"Take me home, now" she whispered standing up and walking out.

Dean frowned after her and nodded looking over to Castiel who smiled gently at him.

"I'll text you, okay?"

"Yes"

Dean moved away and turned back to him mouthing, "I promise" which made Castiel smirk and bite his lip in approval.

"What was that?" Anna said noticing it.

"He chose me" he muttered to Anna who gasped and covered her mouth.

"Oh my god" she cried and touched his arm both excited for him but worried for Lisa who would no doubt be very hurt.

~0~

Dean and Lisa arrived home in silence, Dean glancing over to her often to see her stony expression. She slammed the car door and walked up to the house, she walked in and went straight upstairs.

Dean was very confused to her actions when he walked in and hung up his jacket and heard her in the bathroom running water. He knew he had to do it soon, he couldn't leave it and he knew what he needed to say and do.

"Lisa?" he called walking up and knocking on the bathroom door.

Lisa who was standing at the sink in deep thought jumped and nodded to herself. It was time. She opened the door and he stumbled in and regained himself.

"Lisa, I…"

"Before you even begin I need to tell you something"

"What?"

She walked forward and clasped his hands tight.

"I'm pregnant" she cried with a small cold smile.

Dean's face fell in surprised horror and his train of thought was automatically wiped as she placed a hand on her flat stomach and sighed.

"Pregnant with _your _child of course" she said and he hugged her tightly.

Lisa clung onto him and nodded to herself, it was fool proof.

**Hmmm! **** Please review!**


	10. Chapter 10

"Pregnant? But, how can you possibly know…I mean, have you took a test?"

"Yes, before and it was positive and I was so scared and didn't know how to tell you"

"Why didn't you tell me straight away?" Dean cried astonished.

"I was scared! Dean, are you happy? Tell me you are happy about this" she insisted taking his hands and watching his expression. Dean faltered for a moment and nodded making her sigh in pure relief,

"Good! Now, you wanted to tell me something?"

Dean looked down and knew he couldn't do it, he couldn't just break up with her after she told him that. He shook his head and forced a smile.

"It doesn't matter anymore"

Lisa smirked and hugged him tight. "I'm going to bed, you coming?"

"Yeah, yeah I'll be up in a bit"

"Okay" she whispered kissing him gently. "I love you"

Dean smiled in response and watched her go upstairs to bed and covered his mouth in horror. This couldn't be happening he internally screamed and scrambled for his phone and punching in his number.

Castiel answered it confused.

"Dean?"

"I need to see you, now" he hissed down the phone.

"You sound panicked…what's happened?"

"Please, can I come see you?"

"Yes"

"Okay, ten minutes" he cried hanging up and creeping out of the door and heading straight over to his.

~0~

Castiel stared at his phone in confusion and sat down feeling very worried, what if he's changed his mind? He thought to himself and bit his thumb. He knew Dean still loved her in a way but the way he was before with him made it feel like he had really chosen him.

He waited frustrated and impatiently for his arrival and was relieved when a timid knock came and he threw open the door to a pale Dean, he looked like shit.

"Oh my god, what's happened?" Cas whispered pulling him staring up into his dull and panicked eyes.

"I went to tell her it's over and she had news of her own…Lisa is pregnant, Cas"

Cas could feel his face pale and his stomach drop to the floor in horror.

"Oh" he breathed and sat down heavily against the couch staring at him. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Excuse me?"

"Dean, this is so typical and so correct! This was always going to happen! Why is it that when you get something good, something amazing, karma is right around the corner ready to fuck it up?"

"Cas…"

"This is punishment" he whispered looking away from him.

Dean walked slowly over and stood in front of him concerned. "Punishment"

"For me, I fell for a happily taken man and I wanted you, I desired you and so I got you" he whispered staring into nothing. "This is karma for our actions, Dean"

"Don't be daft, Cas!" he muttered running a hand through his hair, Cas closing his eyes at his touch and his breath hitched.

"We are over before we could even begin"

"I can still end it…"

"No you can't, Dean" he muttered looking up at him with watery eyes. "You are going to be a father; I will not take that away from him or her"

"But what about us? We can't end Cas, I want you"

"I want you too…god knows I want you but she's pregnant! This is another life we are talking about! So me and you are over"

"No" he whispered brokenly.

"Yes, Dean"

Dean bit his lip hard and looked down at their hands now joined together.

"This sucks"

"Life isn't fair sometimes"

He nodded and moved closer to him tipping his head back and planting a kiss on him, he could feel Cas smile into it and kiss him back.

"I'm really, really, going to miss that" he murmured against his lips and moved to Dean's neck kissing along it gently.

"I don't want to lose you"

"We can't stay friends Dean…it doesn't work"

"So we stay away from each other? Can you really do that?"

Castiel laughed for a moment and shook his head. "No way, I can't go 24 hours without needing you but we'll have to for everyone's sake"

"Why do we need to sacrifice ourselves for the sake of everyone else's happiness?"

"I don't know" he whispered leaning against his chest with a heavy sigh. They stayed like that for a long moment, Dean running his hand up and down his back not knowing if he could actually give this up. It was like being told as a child you had to give up your favourite teddy bear or toy, you couldn't see it, touch it or hold it again and that pain, that fear and everything along with it resurfaced itself.

"You should get back to her" Cas croaked and looked up at him and Dean gasped a little at his teary eyes.

"Oh shit" he murmured bring his thumb up and brushing away a tear. "No way, I am not leaving you like this"

"She'll wonder what's happened to you"

"I'll tell her I went for a walk and fell asleep in the bloody park, come here" he muttered and wrapped him in his arms holding him close.

"I'm so sorry for this" Dean murmured in his ear feeling the wetness of his tears on his neck as Castiel buried his face in the crook whimpering slightly.

"It's not your fault…well it is, you getting her pregnant but it can't be helped now" he mumbled and leaned against his shoulder.

"If she wasn't I would be all yours right now and in my mind I am…I don't love her like that anymore, you've changed me for the better"

Castiel nodded and peered up at him with a weak smile.

"I did that 7 years ago when you pushed me over, helped me up and what do you know here we are years later"

"It's a good thing" Dean cried and leaned his cheek against his hair.

"I wouldn't change a thing"

Dean tilted his chin up and brushed a kiss against his lips, on his nose and on to his forehead sighing deeply.

"You can be so affectionate sometimes" Castiel murmured and blushing a little.

"I know" Dean smirked. "I am full of surprises!"

"I want you to stay with me"

"Okay" Dea muttered and looked at Castiel who blinked in surprise.

"No buts, Cas, come on" he muttered holding out his hand and tugging him to the bedroom. They simply lay together and in each other's arms, no words, just looks, kisses and caress's to show how they truly felt without speaking.

~0~

The next day, Dean returned home to see Lisa had gone to work and left a note.

_Hey babe._

_I need to talk to you about something important later! I really want to do this so please try and be optimistic. _

_I love you. _

He crumbled it up and threw it in the bin wondering what it could possibly be as he made himself some toast and picked up his phone to see a message from Sam.

"_Coming to see you later, be home!"_

Dean smiled to himself and text him back telling him he would be here and couldn't wait to see him and maybe talk to him about this whole big problem.

Sam arrived two hours later to his delight.

"What's with the long face?" Sam asked sitting down and taking the can of soda off him with a nod.

"Lisa is pregnant"

"No way!" he cried shocked and smiled at him. "Congrats"

"Yeah…" he muttered sighing.

"What is it?"

"Sam, if I tell you something…try and not judge me"

"I would never judge you, what's happened" he muttered concerned.

"Me and Cas…well we've been…sleeping together and I kinda fell in love with him"

Sam blinked in surprise and pressed his lips together for a long moment before laughing lightly and shaking his head amused.

"Dean, I am not surprised"

"What?"

"Castiel has always fancied you Dean, always and you have always had such a deep connection…I am really not surprised"

"You are seriously calm about this, I totally expected you to freak out!"

Sam shook his head and then grimaced.

"Let me guess, Lisa being pregnant has destroyed everything"

"You got it in one" Dean whispered sitting down opposite him.

"What are you going to do?"

"Nothing, I can't now can I? she is pregnant and that is that, me and Cas are over"

Sam could see the hidden despair and sorrow in his eyes at those words and looked down at his lap.

"I'm sorry, Dean"

"Yeah…so am I"

~0~

Lisa came home that night and bounded in sitting him down.

"I want you to listen to me and please consider this"

"Hit me with it" Dean said muting the TV and looking at her.

"I want to move to Michigan to live with my brother, I want us to move away from here and raise our child together"

"What…why?"

"Because I hate it here! I despise the house, the neighbourhood and I miss my brother…Dean, please?" she whispered crouching down in front of him.

"But what about our jobs, our friends?" he whispered and she shrugged.

"We quit, sell up, get our savings and text and call them now and again, if you love me and this child you will do it"

Dean couldn't see the blackmail as he despaired over this and she stroked his hands staring at him with hard eyes.

"Um, okay" he muttered to her delight as she squealed loudly and threw her arms around him.

"Thank you!" she screamed and he hugged her back in complete horror.

What had he done?

Lisa smiled over his shoulder and had him right where she wanted him, fake pregnancy and she was getting him away from Castiel, all she needed was marriage and her plan was complete. No was taking Dean away from her, Dean was _hers._

**Please review!**


	11. Chapter 11

Dean knew this was probably going to be one of the worse decisions of his life. Lisa quit her job and was already on the phone about selling their place already, he couldn't believe how desperately she wanted to get out of here.

She also didn't want him to tell anyone about the baby which he found funny.

"Why?"

"Because we will jinx it, silly! Just wait a few months till he or she is grown yeah?" she said sheepishly.

"Well I've already told Cas and Sam"

"You told them? Dean!" she cried shocked and he shrugged.

"My brother and my best friend, Lisa, they will always know what ever I know"

"Fine" she snapped and walked away from him and upstairs.

He rolled his eyes and went to go and see him, he needed to tell him the news that he was moving, this wasn't going to go down very well.

He knocked on his door lightly and was greeted by Anna who welcomed him in.

"Castiel is asleep at the moment"

"Oh okay, I need to tell him something, I'll be a moment"

"Take as long as you need" she said and went to the living room.

He moved into his bedroom to see him curled up fast asleep and away from the world. Dean sat down and moved to nuzzle the side of his neck gently.

"Cas, wake up" he whispered and smirking when he shook his head but looked up at him with sleepy eyes.

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to tell you something" he whispered kissing him gently to wake him up.

"Or to just kiss me?" he murmured stroking his cheek.

"I would do that all day if I could but I can't, Cas…in about a week or something, me and Lisa are moving to Michigan"

Castiel swallowed hard and bit his lip as his heart shattered into pieces, first he lost him and now he was losing him forever to another state, he would never see him.

"Oh right" he murmured looking away from him.

"I don't want to leave you but maybe it's for the best"

He felt Castiel look up towards him shocked.

"Like you said Cas, me and you can't be friends after this because we tried and failed, if we move away then we can start the process of moving on from each other"

"Maybe" he whispered and knew this was not true, he tried for 7 years and it wasn't magically going to start now.

"I am not going to make this process difficult now and I already have by kissing you but I guess if we just part ways…"

"What, right now?"

"Well yeah"

Castiel nodded and looked up at him, he could see his pain and his despair so vividly he could even feel it himself. He reached up and traced down his face with his fingertips, he leaned into his touch with a troubled sigh.

"I don't even know what to say"

"Nothing, don't say a word Dean, words only make it harder…I think, I think you should just leave now"

"Seriously?"

"Leave and don't look back"

Dean nodded letting out a hitching breath and pressed his lips together telling himself he wouldn't cry, not like this.

"Okay" he whispered and moved to get up and looked down at him. "See you later, Cas"

"Goodbye" he whispered and without a backwards glance he walked out and quickly out the room. In their own company, they both broke down into silent tears, Dean walking home and attempting to hide them and Castiel letting his roam free so they quickly fell.

Anna came into see him and wrapped her arms around him in comfort.

"What did he come to say?"

"That he and Lisa are moving to Michigan"

"What? Why?" she shouted shocked and he blinked at her confused.

"To raise the baby"

"Baby? What baby?"

Cas was very confused now and narrowed his eyes at her in case she was joking.

"Lisa and Dean are having a baby, Anna, remember?"

Anna sat back and stared at him in shock. "You are kidding me?"

"Anna, are you messing with me? Didn't you know?"

"No!" she yelled.

"Lisa didn't tell you?" he cried alarmed and wondered how he knew but she didn't, he assumed that Lisa would of told her own best friend she was pregnant.

Anna sat there in stunned silence, Lisa was pregnant? That made no sense whatsoever that she was suddenly pregnant when days ago she stated they had no sex life, so if there was no sex, how was there a baby?

Anna swallowed feeling very pissed off and very confused.

"Is she 100% sure she is pregnant?"

"How do I know? Dean told me and he and Lisa are moving to Michigan in a week"

"Fucking hell" she muttered and bit her thumb looking at his clearly hurt expression and watching the despair wash over him.

"I'm sorry, Cas, this must be the shittest feeling in the world"

"It's close to painful, Anna…"

Castiel rolled over on his bed away from her curling up into a little ball and let out a little sigh.

Anna watched him and had a feeling, a gut instinct that something was very fishy about this and why all of the sudden she was pregnant.

But she wouldn't lie about a pregnancy would she? Lisa thought to herself leaving Cas' room in deep thought. She did wonder why Lisa came out of the toilets only a week ago, pale, very frightened and slightly odd.

Was that when she found out? She wondered to herself and sat down shaking her head.

No pregnancy test was with her and she would have told her there and then.

Anna sighed deeply and wondered what could possibly be going through that woman's head and why she didn't tell her. She still had that gut instinct that something was very wrong about this and it screamed at her to fix it.

~0~

"I'm sad to see you go son" Bobby said when he handed in his notice with a sad smile.

"Me too Bobby, I'll miss this old garage" he said looking around in awe and sadness.

"Michigan of all places"

"Lisa's brother Phil is there and she misses him, she wants somewhere new for me, her and the baby so…"

"Well, good luck!" he cried and pulled him into a tight hug.

Dean hugged him back patting his back and they let go.

"See you around Bobby!" he cried and walked out of the place.

He was walking along the street in deep thought not noticing where he was going and who was walking past, he didn't notice Castiel. Castiel smirked a little amused and stood in his path and waited for the collision.

"Oh shit…" he cried and then stopped when he noticed. "Hello"

"Hello, Dean"

Dean looked him up and down for a moment after not seeing him for a week. "Are you okay?"

"Yes" he whispered staring up at him.

"Good…well I better…"

Castiel nodded and let him go watching him walk away, he felt himself shatter a little and walked away with his head down. Dean stopped and watched him walk away feeling that desire to run back and take him in his arms come full circle.

The last week had been very painful for him, Lisa was non-stop moaning about packing and clothes and Michigan, he desperately wanted to see him but couldn't. now that he had, it was too much for him and he needed him.

He returned back home to see Lisa running around in a daze.

"Will you calm down? You are giving me a headache just looking at you"

"I can't!" she cried glaring at him and answering the ringing phone.

"Give me strength!" he yelled and slammed a cup down for whiskey. He drank it down and stared hard at the wall in annoyance. Why am I here? He wondered to himself, it was too much. Tomorrow they were leaving and he didn't care anymore, he was seeing him whether he liked it or not.

Castiel was writing up his work when he heard a knock.

"Door's open" he cried and when it opened to reveal him, he sat back with a sigh.

"I know you told me to go away and don't look back, well I did and I kept on looking, I don't care anymore! All I want right now is in this room, I leave tomorrow and I don't want to spend it with her and her moaning! I want to spend it with you" he cried walking over and grabbing his wrists pulling him up.

Castiel nodded in agreement and pulled him towards him so they were flush against each other and ready for anything.

"I don't care either! I missed you" he whispered inhaling his scent.

"We're going to say goodbye, properly" he whispered and Castiel nodded and seized him in a kiss.

**I'll write it in the other one! Please review.**


	12. Chapter 12

"I don't like goodbyes" he murmured softly when Dean pushed him backwards towards the bedroom.

"Then let's not make it in to a goodbye, a see you later" he muttered pushing him down on to the bed and kissing him hard.

Castiel reached up for him and held him tight opening his mouth to give him more entry and feeling his tongue sweep into his mouth. He groaned at his taste arching up against his chest wanting more, Dean moved down and took off his clothing quickly so he could reach the skin underneath.

Dean kissed slowly down his chest and moving to his nipple and gently teasing it with his tongue and teeth making him groan and fist his hand into his hair.

"Dean" he gasped out closing his eyes.

Dean shushed him and covered his mouth.

"No words, okay?"

He nodded and watched as Dean removed his clothes till he was fully naked as well and moved up against him, Cas gasping at the friction between them. It felt like the last time as they looked into each other's eyes and explored each other for what could be the last time.

Dean moved to his neck and bit down on it gently enjoying the sound of pleasure coming out of Cas' mouth as he left his mark.

He moved his hands down his chest towards his groin teasing it gently watching him squirm and pant before going to his thighs and parting them.

"No foreplay, just the real thing" he murmured to Cas approval.

Gripping the back of his hair he pulled Cas up towards him and quickly but gently slid inside him making Cas hiss in pain but slowly adjust to him.

His thrusts inside him were slow and languid as he kissed him deeply, their tongues moving softly against each other till the need to be closer and more connected grew and he moved faster and deeper into him. Castiel moaned into his mouth gripping his shoulders tightly and moving his hips up towards him.

Dean reached down to his neglected cock and slid his hand up and down using the sweat between them and his pre-cum for lubricant. He moved his hand with his thrusts into him making him squirm and writhe underneath him till he was panting loudly.

"Dean!" he called out and with a cry he climaxed and orgasmed into his waiting hand and soon followed after with his own climaxed into him. The waves of his orgasm washing over him and making him shudder before resting on top of him and kissing him slowly.

This continued later on into the night with Dean topping, Castiel topping until they were sweaty, messy, completely worn out and sore. It hit 3.30am when Castiel was staring at Dean while he slept; he kissed his mouth gently making him stir.

"We have had 5 rounds of sex, Cas, and I am so tired" he murmured opening his eyes to see amused ones watching him.

"I don't want sex; I need to tell you something"

"What?"

Castiel swallowed hard and looked at him with soft eyes before leaning his forehead against his and smiling sadly.

"I love you, Dean"

His eyes flew open to see sincerity and warmth in Cas' eyes as he watched him.

"Are you confessing your feelings for me?"

"Yes, I think now is the right time"

Dean nodded and kissed his forehead and wrapping his arms around him.

"Tell me when you fell in love with me?" he whispered into his ear.

"7 years ago, It was after we made friends and I felt an attraction to you so deep I didn't even realise what it was until you got with Lisa…I was so jealous of you and her for a good while and then realised I was in love with you" he whispered carding a hand through his hair.

Dean smiled gently at him not knowing what to say.

"I love everything about you, Dean, the way you smile, the way you laugh, how you get so stubborn, how you say my name, everything! You make me fall in love with you over and over again and I will never stop, Dean"

He could feel tears prick in his eyes before moving towards him and kissing him gently, Dean kissing him back fiercely and sighing.

"I wish you hadn't said it now, god sake" he whispered pained.

"It had to be said or I would have regretted it every day that you never knew how I truly felt about you"

"I know that but how can I leave you now, Cas? I can't…" he whispered.

"You can do, you can do anything"

Dean shook his head and swallowed back his emotion, he brought him towards his chest and held onto him tightly breathing in his scent, he smelled of sex, sweat and Dean's aftershave.

"You smell like me" he murmured into his hair.

"Good" he muttered kissing his chest lightly and snuggling closer to him and shutting his eyes for some well needed sleep. Dean laid his cheek on his hair before sighing and going to sleep himself.

~0~

Dean's phone beeped and he woke up startled to see light slowly flooding in the room and Cas on his chest snoring gently. He smiled and kissed his forehead and watched him wrinkle his nose and snuffle gently.

"Baby, wake up" he whispered turning him over so he was hovering over his sleeping figure.

"No" he muttered fighting a smile and it fading as he fell back asleep.

"Castiel" he sung in his ear tickling it with his breath and chuckling when he squirmed and looked up at him.

"You are so evil" he whispered and Dean nodded in approval.

Castiel moaned a little as he sat up at the soreness of his legs and back before straddling Dean's hips and kissing him until they were breathless.

"Morning" he murmured against his mouth making Dean smile underneath him.

"Morning kisses are always the best"

Cas nodded and moved to his neck nipping and biting it gently making Dean tilt his head back with a small moan.

"I know I am a killjoy but I leave in 2 hours for Michigan" he muttered making Castiel pause and nod lightly pulling back to look at him.

"I love you, please, please remember that?"

"I won't forget it and you know how I feel, Cas, even if I don't have the guts to say it baby" he whispered stroking his cheek and looking into his pained eyes.

Dean moved from underneath him needing a shower and kissing him softly before getting up and walking out the room, Anna thankfully was staying at her new boyfriends house much to her delight.

He sighed and curled up in a ball inhaling his pillow gently and closing his eyes, he listened as the water turned on and Dean climbed in. it took 5 minutes for him to start singing his favourite songs loudly making him smile.

How could he live without this? He thought to himself and it hurt him more than he could possibly imagine.

Dean came back 10 minutes later naked and wet to the delight of Cas who eyed him hungrily.

"No bright ideas, I am still sore! You are an animal in bed" he muttered drying himself up.

"You loved it and you know you did, I made you scream" he cried smugly watching Dean raise an eyebrow laughing.

"For a moment! I know you won't let that one go, will you?"

"Never, you look so hot like that…I think I want to see you panting and moaning my name all over again" he whispered huskily making Dean turn away with a small moan at the back of his throat.

"You said I was evil?" he cried throwing his clothes on and moving off to the bed and climbing on top of him making him smirk up at him.

"You are evil when you want to be, Dean"

"Oh I know" he murmured into his ear kissing into the shell, Castiel biting his lip at the friction off cotton on his nipples. Dean moved to his neck moving along it slowly till he find his pulse and sucked on it feeling the vibrations of Cas' low moan underneath him.

His phone buzzed loudly and demanding making them both look at it in worry and realisation. Dean turned to look at him and slowly Castiel looked up at him swallowing hard and letting out a deep breath.

"I guess it's time"

"I don't want to do this, please don't make me say it" Dean whispered clinging to the back of his neck fighting the urge to cry.

"You have to! For your sake and the baby's, Dean" he said closing his eyes.

"I know, I know" he whispered and let go climbing off him picking up his phone and jacket.

"I want you to know that I always choose you, this changes nothing and I will always feel for you, Cas…if it weren't for the baby and my duties, I would be yours" he muttered thickly.

"I know, Dean"

Dean let out a deep breath and moved down tilting his chin up and giving him one last kiss, he slowly licked his bottom lip before pushing his tongue into his mouth expertly and running a hand into his hair scratching his scalp.

Castiel groaned with longing and need into his mouth and clung to him so hard he knew it would hurt.

"See you later" Dean murmured tears in his eyes and stroked along his neck before closing his eyes and moving away from him and out the flat quickly. Tears fell down his face as he walked down the street and didn't care, he just couldn't.

~0~

Dean turned up at the house to see Lisa waiting for him, she sighed and he smiled at her gently.

"Sorry"

"You will be mister, you ready?" she muttered looking up at the house, they would drive to the new house and the men would be moving their collections out and to them in the next few hours.

"Of course I am" he said and squeezed her hand gently.

"You'll see them all the time when we can get to them, it will be okay" she whispered soothingly and he nodded.

Lisa climbed into the passenger seat and sat down waiting for him to get in, Dean looked up at the old house with longing, he loved that house and now it wasn't even his. He climbed into the driver's seat and started her up ready for the long journey, away from Michigan and away from Castiel forever in despair.

Lisa smiled coldly to herself and looked out the window in full control; her plan was so prefect that nothing could go wrong. Could it?

**Please review!**


	13. Chapter 13

Anna was strolling along humming to herself when she bumped into someone tall and familiar.

"Oh! Hey, Sam" she cried smiling up at him.

"Anna! Hi, how are you?"

"Okay I guess, you?"

"Doing well" he muttered but Anna could see the lie.

"You heard from Dean?"

"Not really, he's busy settling down with Lisa and that…how's Cas?"

Anna fidgeted and smiled sadly at him. "He isn't doing very well, he covers it up with smiles and fake laughs but he looks so lost sometimes, he sits there in silence, he isn't eating or sleeping" she muttered and sighed sadly.

Sam reached out and rubbed her arm in comfort.

"I still can't believe she is pregnant and he is going to be a father"

"Why?" she said curiously watching him shrug.

"I always assumed she was infertile"

"Infertile? Why!" she cried alarmed watching him shrug and cross his arms.

"Well they tried for a baby while back when they were young and naïve wanting a child, she tried to get pregnant and they got nothing, they both went to a fertility unit and it came back Dean was fine but she wasn't"

Anna blinked horrified and looked at him in shock.

"She's infertile!" she shouted shocked and he backed away a little alarmed at her outburst.

"Well obviously not now, she's pregnant"

Anna shook her head and grabbed his wrist tugging him along with him.

"Whoa, what are you doing?"

"You are coming with me! Sam, something is going on here and I intend to figure it out right now" she called dragging him along.

~0~

It had been 2 days since he left and Castiel hadn't heard anything, he cuddled the pillow close to him and inhaled his scent on it, so thankful it lingered there. Castiel could feel a tear burn down his cheek and brushed it away feeling foolish and silly.

He heard the front door bang open, Anna was shouting him and he could hear someone mumble. He threw the pillow down and walked out to see Sam and Anna.

"Hello, Sam"

"Hey, Cas…you don't look good" he muttered and Cas nodded in agreement scratching his messy hair.

"Anna?" he cried as she paced up and down the living room in deep thought.

"Sit down! Both of you!" she shouted making them both jump and sit down wary of her, they liked Anna but most of the time she could be scary.

"I bumped into Sam before and he brought up Dean and Lisa, Lisa being pregnant and all but made one interesting comment"

"It's not interesting!" Sam protested.

"What comment?" Castiel muttered confused.

"Lisa is infertile" she cried and Castiel looked over to her shocked.

"But…she can't be! She's pregnant right now"

"That's what I said!" Sam agreed with him.

Anna shook her head and sat on the loveseat in deep thought. "No, no, something is wrong, something is up! Lisa is pregnant in suspicious circumstances! The day she told Dean she was pregnant was the day she told ME that she has no sex life".

Sam cringed a little and Castiel swallowed hard and shrugged.

"It only takes once"

"Yes! I know that but…she went to the toilet that day and she came back out looking pale and said something like, have you heard seen or heard something that scared you so much but made you realise what's important…"

"The toilets?" Cas said sitting up straight.

"Yeah, why?"

Castiel gasped and covered his mouth in complete realisation over what was happening.

"Dean took me to the toilets and told me he was choosing me…she heard us or seen us"

Sam raised his eyebrows in surprise and turned to Anna who bit her lip and wondered… has she lied?

"But that doesn't mean she lied about this, Anna" Sam protested.

"Let's see shall we" she cried picking up a pair of keys.

~0~

The three of them arrived outside the house which had moving men inside.

"Why are we here?" Sam hissed to her.

"Investigation, Sam" she whispered and he shook his head towards Castiel who shrugged. They walked up and Anna sweet talked the man in charge that they all had things to pick up from there house, personal belongings.

"Sam, I want you to check the bins for pregnancy test" she hissed and he blanked out for a moment in shock.

"No!"

"Do it" she cried pushing him to the kitchen.

Anna and Castiel went upstairs, Castiel searching the bathroom while Anna checked the bedroom. Castiel looked all over for hidden tests when to his shock he found one hidden and wrapped up in tissue paper in the very corner, he wiggled it out and held it up.

"Cas!" Anna called and he hurried towards her in the bedroom and gasped when she threw a handful of tests on the bed.

"And a receipt!" she said holding it up.

"For when?"

"Recently, now if someone was pregnant, why would she need so many tests?" she questioned and heard the footsteps of Sam approaching.

"Nothing! Look, Anna…" he cried and stopped when he seen them all lying on the bed. "Oh my god"

Anna turned everyone over and her mouth fell open in horror.

"Negative, every single one!" she cried and ran a hand through her hair in horror. Castiel picked them up gaping.

"Why would she do that?" Sam shouted and threw it to the bed in disgust.

"Control! Keeping Dean where she wants him and he can't say a word against her because how can he question his pregnant girlfriend! Dean has always wanted a family" she muttered and pulled out her phone going to call Dean.

"No, let me do it" Sam muttered and pulled his phone out to call him. Castiel looked towards Anna who shook her head at him and walked over pulling him into a big hug.

"We'll make her pay for taking him away, Cas, I promise" she whispered into his ear.

~0~

Lisa was relaxing on the couch when she saw Dean's phone rang and picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Dean! No…Lisa! You little bitch!" he cried and she blinked in alarm.

"Sam? What the…"

"We know, Lisa! You are a liar! Me, Anna and Cas found your little tests! Lying about being pregnant, that's a low blow for you but you were always a liar!" he yelled angrily.

Lisa sniffed and straightened up. "I love him, you wouldn't understand, I lied about being pregnant for his own good" she cried down the phone.

"You lied! Get Dean now!" he shouted.

"No, he's mine Sam, mine" she hissed down the phone.

Sam looked towards Anna and Castiel who mouthed "What" and "Hand the phone over" he backed away shaking his head.

"You know who he loves, you know who he wants but you lied to keep him away from Cas and you know this, you are a lying, deceitful, messed up cow and I want my brother on the phone so I can save him from you"

Lisa laughed long and coldly down the phone. "Hilarious! fuck off Sam! He is mine and I am not giving him up, I will get pregnant eventually and there will be no difference, I will change the dates…now his phone is going to mysteriously break so he can't contact you or any of you! Understand me?"

"Don't you dare" he shouted angrily and then heard the click of the phone.

Lisa stood up throwing the phone to the floor and stamping on it hard and kicking it under the couch with a smile.

Sam dialled it again and was answered by a voice message telling him the phone was off.

"Shit! She broke it, she broke his phone" he muttered breath fully.

"What? How will we contact him?" Cas cried scared.

"I…I don't know, I don't even know where he is, he never told me the address because I never asked him"

Anna covered her mouth and swallowed hard.

"What are we going to do?"

The 3 of them looked at one another and stared in complete defeat because with no phone, Dean was unreachable and stuck with her.

~0~

What Lisa didn't know was Dean had listened to every single word and was against the wall listening to her smashing up his phone. He sniffed angrily and went upstairs past all the boxes and to the bedroom, to her bag and rooting through it finding a hidden un-used test.

He clung to it and ran downstairs and into the living room, she smiled up at him and faltered when she saw the test in his hand.

"Bit late for that don't you think?"

"You've been pregnant for a while now but for some odd reason, you haven't had any sickness, your body hasn't changed, no bump, no nothing! So for my own sake of mind princess, do it" he hissed shoving it into her hand.

Lisa swallowed and looked up at him shocked.

"Dean…"

"Do it!" he shouted and made her flinch and stand up with shaking hands.

"I love you, remember that" she whispered and went upstairs with Dean following her and waiting outside.

Lisa sat down and did the business wishing and praying so hard that this time, it was positive. She waited for the 3 minutes when she turned it over and bit her lip, negative. She stood up and knew it was over, it was so over and she knew she was doomed.

Lisa came out and passed the test over calmly.

"You are a lying bitch!" he shouted throwing it to the floor.

"I lied because you were going to leave me for him, Dean, why were you going to leave me for Castiel?"

"Because I have always loved him deep down and never realised it" he hissed looking her up and down in disgust. "Why are you so calm? Don't you realise what you have done?"

"No, I did it out of love Dean, love is crazy don't you think?"

"No, not at all" he hissed watching her approach him.

"Love isn't nice or pleasant, it hurts and it makes you go insane! Insanity comes from love, from when you love something so much you will do anything to keep it and protect it! I don't regret anything because I still have you" she whispered in his ear.

"Not anymore! I am gone darling" he cried and walked away from her to the bedroom.

"You can't leave me!" she shouted following him into the bedroom.

"Watch me! I don't love you anymore! I love him, I love Castiel! There I said it, okay? I want and love him, you are not stopping me! You ruined this with your lies and your deceit, goodbye Lisa" he shouted moving and walking away.

Lisa grabbed the lamp and swung it hard crashing it over his head and watched him slump to the floor out cold. She crouched down and tutted.

"I hate arguing sweetheart but this is for your own good!" she whispered and stood up looking around the place and rooting through his bag.

"Bingo" she whispered pulling out the gun he took everywhere. "Let's go crazy"

She smirked and toyed with it before looking down at Dean.

"Crazy is love" she whispered at him with a smile watching his blood trickle down into his closed eye.

**I'm making her insane. Haha! Please review!**


	14. Chapter 14

Dean felt like his head was about to explode when he came around to see himself leaning against the wall. He could sticky wetness on the side of his face and blood covering his left shoulder.

"The hell?" he mumbled feeling his head and wincing in pain.

"Does it hurt?" Lisa said standing up with her hands behind her back and smiling gently at him.

"You whacked me with a lamp! You are one crazy, messed up bitch, Lisa!" he shouted and struggled to get up.

"I am not crazy! What part of "I love you" do you not understand! We are engaged to be married and now all of the sudden you're gay?"

"I'm not gay! It's only him, he is the only one, I love _him_…what part of that don't you understand?" he snarled standing up and breathing hard willing himself not to be sick.

"Maybe that you showed no sign at all and now all of the sudden you love him?" she scoffed.

"Maybe because you brought up making him date someone and my heart screamed no! I was jealous and I kissed him…I have cheated on you with him several times now Lisa and I am so sorry for that but this….lying about being pregnant? It's unforgiveable"

"Nothing is unforgiveable, I can change, I can be better for you!" she cried pleadingly.

"No, you stay away from me" he whispered and went to move out the room when she pulled her hand out with the gun.

"You leave, I shoot you, I promise" she hissed and he turned back again in horror.

"What are…?"

"Shut up! You shut up and get back on the floor where I left you! Now!" she shouted her gun hand shaking as he moved back to the place eyeing her in complete horror.

"What are you doing?" he hissed.

"If I kill you, no one can have you!" she shouted. "I kill you and then I kill me and we can be together!"

"What! That's…insane! That wouldn't work!" he shouted at her.

"Oh yeah! If I shoot you I go to hell and you won't come with me obviously…I can't see another way though"

"Maybe you can put the gun down and start acting sane, Lisa, killing us? Why would you want to do that! We have family, friends and you are a beautiful, young woman who has everything going for her! Don't do this"

"You're wrong, Dean, I am nothing! I am barren woman, I can't bear children and who wants to be with a woman who can't give you a child?" she cried hysterically.

"Plenty of men!"

"I don't want them! I want you! Please, please, Dean, don't do this to me" she whispered getting on her knees in front of him.

"You lied about being pregnant and you know how much I wanted a family, you moved me away from him, my brother and my friends to keep me all to yourself, I don't love you like that anymore and I am so sorry Lisa, I really am but this is over"

Lisa nodded slowly and pressed the gun to his forehead with a sigh.

"So what will it be, me or you?" she whispered tearfully.

"Neither" he muttered staring into her eyes.

"You have everything to live for! If you want a child, you can have a child, adoption, and surrogacy! I don't know how that shit works but you can do it, you can be a mother and find a husband and the man of the dreams".

"He is sitting right in front of me"

Dean groaned and closed his eyes beginning to feel frustrated,

"No! Not me!" he cried and she pressed it harder into his gun with fury evident in his eyes.

"You, yes you!" she hissed taking the gun away and cocking it before putting it back on his skull.

"Let's see who dies first?" she whispered watching the fear set in Dean's eyes.

~0~

"I know, her brother!" Anna cried suddenly ecstatic.

"Her brother?" Sam said with a frown watching her pull out her phone.

"Me and him had a thing once, if anyone knows where them two are, it's him!" she cried dialling his number.

"Hello Richard! Yeah, its Anna…I know, long time no speak, listen I need your help! Where does Lisa live now? Well she did but I lost it and I really need to speak to her…oh one moment" she cried and hissed for a pen which Castiel found and threw it over.

She turned to the wallpaper and started to write down the address to the surprise of Cas and Sam who watched her amused.

"Thank you! Yeah, I'm good thank you and what? Yeah I am in a relationship thanks, bye Rich!" she called and hung up with a sigh. "He was always so annoying and shit in bed".

"Anna!" Castiel cried and she shrugged and looked at the address.

"This is our destination boys!" she called and ripped it off the wall and heading downstairs.

"We get there and we rip that carpet from under her feet, no one and I repeat no one does that to my friend, or your lover or your brother" she said pointing to Cas and Sam as they climbed into the car and started it up.

"I just still can't believe she lied! Who lies about being pregnant? Surely she must of realised it would come out when no change or baby came in 9 months" Cas muttered staring out the window.

"I think she would have faked a miscarriage and then Dean and she would grieve, she would ask him for another chance to have a baby and try for one no matter what" Anna said pushing the squealing car forward.

"That's sick!" Sam spat and attempted to call his mobile again and groaned when he got voicemail again.

Anna nodded and started the journey towards Michigan.

~0~

Dean watched as she paced the room and sat down heavily on the bed.

"I don't know why I lied but when I saw you and him together, it broke my heart to see you like that because I saw the way you looked at him, like he was the most precious thing in your whole life…" she muttered trailing off.

Dean looked down at the floor and was starting to feel very sick and very lightheaded.

"I know you have been cheating on me with him because you came home smelling of sex, sweat and him, he was all over you and I let it go because I thought you needed to get it out of your system but you didn't…you spent your final night with him"

"I told you I love him" he whispered.

"I know that!" she hissed and looked down at her hands before looking up at him. "Starting to feel it now?"

"Feel what?"

"You look all pale and like you are going to be sick…I think you're dying"

"I'm fine" he muttered looking up at her coldly.

"Maybe we were always a dead case and a one night stand started all this off but we were doomed from the start…it's was always him, you were always running off to go and find him" she sighed and placed the gun on the bed.

Dean started to fidget and move but his legs felt like dead weights.

"You are acting like your life is over because of me! This is life Lisa and yes it sucks but we deal with it" he muttered.

"I know that! I am not think, Dean!" she yelled at him angrily but then calmed and looked away from him.

"I feel like I have nothing to live for…I want to escape from this all and I don't want anyone else because men are idiots, you break our hearts so many times and you don't care! You never care, you have broken mine and I want you to be punished!"

"For falling in love with someone else! You are not right in the head; the whole world doesn't revolve around you and your prefect prim life, Lisa! It's life and we move along with it, get a grip and realise the facts" he cried watching her face pale and turn towards him.

She grabbed the gun and shot above his head making him cry out in alarm and duck.

"Fucking hell!" he shouted ducking while she glared at him.

"Make another fucking sound and I'll blow your head off Dean!" she hissed and walked away to the window with a sigh.

Dean touched the back of his skull to the wound and his hand was covered in blood, he gasped and let out a deep breath and knew he was probably dying from blood loss. He closed his eyes and thought of him, it was all he had.

~0~

"Please tell me we are nearly there!" Sam cried jumping up and down in his seat.

"10 minutes!" she cried turning into the road and speeding up into the little estate.

"We got here really fast, well done Anna!" Cas cried as she smiled smugly.

"Well I am a pretty good driver when I want to be" she said looking at her dashboard for more instructions and took a left into their new street and sped up to 445B

They parked and looked up at the house with all the lights on, Sam ran up to the front door and banged on it for a long moment getting no response.

"Fuck it" he muttered and kicked it open.

"Oh! Good show!" Anna laughed before they walked in and looked around.

"Dean?" Cas called looking around and heard a muffled sound upstairs, they looked towards each other before running up and into the bedroom.

Dean looked towards the door in alarm and shock when he saw Sam, Anna and Castiel burst in like the three musketeers. He laughed for a moment and saw Cas run over and look at his bloody shoulder in alarm.

"She smacked a lamp around my head" he mumbled pointing at it.

"You hit him with a lamp!" Anna shouted as Lisa turned on them and looked at all of them in alarm.

"How did you…"

"Your brother told me and I am glad he did because look at what you have done! Lies Lisa? That is a low blow for you" Anna said while Lisa walked over and slapped her hard across the mouth.

"Shut up!" she cried and pulled the gun out pointing it at Anna, then Sam and looking over to Castiel and Dean as Cas held a towel to his head and soothing him.

"You could have killed him!" Sam shouted but eyed the gun warily.

"I still can! I still can hurt all of you! You have ruined everything, especially you!" she hissed pointing the gun at Castiel, Dean bringing him closer to him protectively.

"You back off right now or I'll do something I won't regret" he hissed and watched her smile coldly.

"Perfect revenge don't you think?"

Dean was struggling to get up furiously when Castiel held him down and watched as Anna walked over and grabbed a fistful of her hair and knocking it to the floor.

"There is something wrong with you lady!" she yelled while Lisa screamed and was shoved to the floor in disgust.

"Come on, we have to take Dean to A.E now before he bleeds to death" Sam said helping him up off the floor. Lisa watched trembling on the floor and looked towards the gun as Sam dragged him out.

Anna looked down shaking her head. "One lie and you ruined it all, goodbye Lisa"

Lisa swallowed hard and bit her lip grabbing the gun and toying with it while looking at Anna and Cas in turn.

"You ruined everything by loving him, you took him from me" she whispered to Cas who narrowed his eyes at her.

"You found out the truth and ruined that as well!" she whispered to Anna.

"It was a fake pregnancy, it was cruel and you didn't care" Anna hit back.

"What do I have to live for?"

"Oh don't be so dramatic!" Anna sighed and walked away tugging Castiel with her when Lisa placed the gun under chin and smiled.

"On your heads, so be it!" she cried and pulled the trigger blowing her brains out.

Cas and Anna ducked and fell to the floor in shock as they looked back to see blood all over the place and a now dead Lisa on the floor.

"What…what" Anna said startled and looked to Cas who stared back in equal horror.

"She killed herself!" she cried standing up and covering her mouth in disgust.

Cas pulled out his phone and explained her suicide to them before telling the address and hanging up.

"On their way" he mumbled.

"I…can't believe she did that! Who does that? Did she truly think she had nothing to live for?" Anna said still in shock.

"Come on"

They walked back downstairs and to the car where Sam was putting Dean in the back. They all climbed in with Cas sitting down next to him and wrapping his arms around him and holding him close.

"What is it?" he mumbled into his chest feeling his tension.

"Lisa just killed herself" he whispered and nodded to a shocked Sam who spun around to look at them. Dean opened his eyes and blinked looking up at him.

"I had a feeling she might…shit" he muttered closing his eyes drowsily and leaning against his chest.

"Drive!" Cas hissed and Anna started the car and speeded out to the hospital knowing they were going to be in trouble for not waiting for the police.

Castiel looked down at his and kissed his forehead gently.

"You'll be okay, I promise" he whispered to a now unconscious Dean who looked to Sam and Anna who glanced back in worry.

"It's over" he murmured leaning his cheek against his hair and sighing in worry but also relief.

**A.N: Oh my Cas. Season 7 Episode 1 anyone? I cried like a little baby throughout it all but I have to admit that it was bloody good apart from some huge mistakes, like Dean's character **** I have never been so pissed off with him before but I have to admit before Levi!Cas came on to scene, Destiel had some bloody good moments! But hugs and love for you all and wait for Episode 2. Edlund will save it.**

**Please review! **


	15. Chapter 15

"He just needs a couple of stitches and a good rest, he'll be fine" the doctor said to them all much to their relief.

Castiel closed his eyes in relief while Anna sighed and kicked back in relief also.

"It's over and done with! I still can't believe it though! Killing yourself?" she muttered darkly and closed her eyes clasping her hands together.

"I always knew she was a bit funny but that?" Sam murmured.

Castiel couldn't stand the talking anymore and left the waiting room and walked down to Dean's room to see him laid out on the bed snoring gently. He smiled to himself and sat down next him taking hold of his hand and stroking it gently with his thumb.

Dean turned towards him with a half-smile and squeezed it gently.

"Hello" he whispered smiling warmly when Castiel sat up and leaned towards him kissing him gently, Dean wrapped his hands around the back of his neck and deepened it by pushing his tongue into his mouth. Their tongues hot and sliding against each other for dominance, hot, slick and just right,

Cas groaned roughly and clung to him harder than he wanted to, it was fierce, passionate and just what they needed.

Dean parted from him panting gently and pulled him onto the bed next to him, Cas caressing his cheek with a small smile.

"Hello" Cas whispered into his ear and kissed the soft flesh of the shell.

Dean bit his lip and moved his body so they were flush against one another and moved to the crook of his neck and sighed deeply.

"I missed you" he murmured biting down and kissing the tender spot on his neck.

"I know I missed you too" he muttered closing his eyes and carding a hand through his hair and feeling Dean grind and rut his hips up against his groin. The friction between them hot and unbearable but the knowledge they were in a hospital and anyone could walk in kept them on red alert.

"Dean" Cas whispered brokenly feeling himself harden and moved his hand down tracing his fingers over Dean's borrowed cotton pants towards his groin and smiled at the hardness of his erection.

"Cas, fuck" he moaned thrusting into his hand.

"We can't" he cried gently when he saw the need and lust in Dean's hooded eyes when he pushed him down on to the bed hovering over him. He pushed his knee in between his legs parting them and making Castiel moan at the friction.

Voices outside made them jump and Dean groan against his throat.

"Later" Cas murmured looking up at him and kissing his forehead gently.

Dean rolled him minding his head and sighed. "Is she really dead?"

"Yes, she killed herself in front of me and Anna" he said and turned to face him, Dean's expression was one of concern and upset.

"She really thought she had nothing to live for" he murmured looking down at the hospital sheets in shock.

"She was ill, Dean" he said gently.

He shrugged and looked up out the window feeling the guilt build up inside him and knowing deep down that this was his fault, he should of just told her the truth. The truth would have been easier but no, she lied, she took him away and she killed herself in the process because she felt like she had nothing to live for, not anymore.

He turned to look at Cas who smiled a small gently smile in reassurance.

"It wasn't your fault, she would of killed you if it wasn't for Anna, I mean l am so glad it wasn't you that was dead right now, that can't happen".

Dean fought back a smile and leaned against the pillows sighing.

"Waste of life though" he muttered and yawned feeling the tiredness seep into his bones and the aches start to really kick in.

"Go to sleep" Castiel murmured kissing his forehead and watching him drop off slowly. Cas rested next to him so thankful that nothing had happened to him, this wasn't going to be easy to get past. Dean did love her once and despite the lies, the insanity and everything along with it, they had a past.

~0~

It hit 4.30am when Dean woke up to feel Cas gently breathing on his neck, there limbs in a tangle together and he never felt so comfortable in his life.

He pressed his lips softly against his temple wanting to wake him up.

"Cas? Baby, wake up for me, I want to tell you something" he murmured stroking the back of his neck.

He hummed and blinked awake, he frowned and glanced up at him.

"What?"

"I need to tell you something because I haven't said it yet and I have bloody courage to do it"

Castiel nodded at him to continue fighting a smile.

"I…I love you" he whispered much to his delight as he nodded and cupped his cheek gently.

"I know, want to tell me what you love about me? Like you asked me…I am quite curious"

"What I love about you? Everything, I love everything about you. I love that half-smile you do, your laugh and when you do your eyes crinkle up, the way you say my name, the fact I have known you for 7 years and I know you inside and out…major bonus" he whispered and enjoyed the blush creeping up on him as he looked away.

"You are my best friend and my lover and now my boyfriend, I am going to spend the rest of my life with you, I promise"

Cas' eyes filled with tears at his words, words he had longed to hear for so long were here and he pulled him down kissing him sweetly and tenderly. Dean happily kissed him back so relieved he had said it, this felt huge for him because he wasn't big and open at expressing his feelings but after that near murder he was grateful to say it to him at long last.

"You are never going to say that again, are you?"

"Nope" he cried popping the "p" and grinning at him.

"Well it's all locked away in here! At least I know how you truly feel now"

"You always knew, I fell in love with you, it's your fault you are irresistible to me"

"Oh really?"

"Hell yeah, I can finally say it, you are _mine_" he whispered gripping the back of his hair and bringing him closer and kissing him hard.

"Say it" he ordered making Castiel groan against his mouth.

"I'm yours" he moaned arching against him breathing hard.

"Exactly, mine" he said smugly watching him flutter his eyelids as Dean slid his hand down his side and around to his back, he slid it up and down his back gently. Castiel snuggled down into his chest with a content sigh, he had never so comfortable wrapped in his arms and leaning against him.

Dean smiled gently to himself and knew he had made the right decision in telling him that.

The next morning they both woke up to a nurse telling them the doctor would be in several moments and to be ready.

"Good morning" Dean muttered looking down at his sleeping figure lying next to him.

Castiel hummed and stretched making his t-shirt ride up and show off his stomach muscles, Dean moved down and kissed along it gently.

"Ah! Dean" he gasped shocked feeling the hot wetness of his mouth on his stomach and hovering over his groin. He kept his eyes opened watching the door and nipped and licked gently until he heard voice and moved up glancing down at a flushed Cas, his eyes were half glazed and cheeks flushed.

"You…" he murmured stopped when the doctor came in.

"How's the patient?"

"Good, bit sore but I'm good!" he cried with 100 watt smile.

The doctor smiled in approval checking his stiches before moving and jotting down notes and noticed Castiel.

"Are you okay?" he said his brow furrowed in concern.

"Um…yeah, yes thank you" he whispered to Dean's amusement.

Dean covered his mouth and turned away laughing.

"You knew that would happen!" Castiel hissed, Dean turning around and grabbing his hips pinning him down smirking.

"That was really fun" he whispered trailing his tongue across his bottom lip before kissing and sliding it into his open mouth. Castiel lost his train of thought as he allowed Dean to slip between his legs and press against his cock which was already semi-hard.

"Don't mean to interrupt but you have police waiting" Anna cried suddenly walking into the room, they both turned to look at her and this time Castiel groaned.

"Can't catch 10 minutes"

"Don't worry, I'll ravish you until you are screaming later on" he murmured with a wink.

"Screaming? I think that's you"

"Okay until you are so sore and so tired you can't walk for weeks" he whispered making Cas groan and cough lightly.

The police entered and nodded towards him. "A few questions, Mr Winchester?"

"Yeah" he muttered as they came in.

"Lisa Braeden killed herself at 11.45pm last night am I correct?"

"Yes, but I wasn't there I was in the car"

"Can you tell me her reasons?"

"Because our relationship was ending and I had just found out she was lying to me about being pregnant, she freaked out, hit me with a lamp and threatened to shoot me dead…my brother, my friend and my boyfriend saved me" he cried, Cas looking towards him proud and clasped his hand with his tightly.

The policeman nodded jotting down his words and smiled sadly.

"Suicide is a nasty business, we are sorry for your loss"

"Thanks" Dean muttered as they finished up and left him to it.

Anna and Sam walked in and stopped at the end of his bed.

"I owe you two the biggest thank you ever" Dean cried grinning at them both.

"You can make it up to me with expensive perfume and flowers"

"New car wouldn't go amiss" Sam muttered and received a warning glare from Dean.

"It's finally over" Cas murmured leaning on his shoulder, Dean nodded to himself and sighed relieved.

"It's just you and me now" he whispered to him and Castiel looked up beaming at him before tilting his chin up and kissing him gently.

"Forever"

**1 year later**

Dean was sat curled up on the couch fighting off a stomach bug he caught two days ago and waiting for the arrival of Castiel. He heard footsteps outside their flat and sighed in relief when the door opened.

"Dean?" he cried immediately as he walked in.

"Here!" he muttered from the couch.

Castiel hung his coat up and dropped his bag to the floor before coming around and knelt down next to him brushing a hand through his sweaty hair.

"Shit, why did I leave you?" he mumbled while Dean brushed him away.

"Because you work at school as an I.C.T technician and they need you, I have a bug! I'll be fine…where's my kiss?" he demanded when Castiel leaned down and captured him into a kiss.

"I love you" he whispered making Dean smile gently and close his eyes.

"Even after a year?"

"No, more like 8 years" he cried going to get him juice.

"Well I never knew that so for me it is a year! How was it today?"

"Boring and long, but I think a pupil has a crush on me" he said coming back and placing it on the floor before sitting down in front of him.

Dean blinked and stared at him for a long moment.

"Who?" he demanded feeling a surge of possessiveness rise up inside him.

"A 14 year old girl who likes computers and hangs around my office all the time, Dean, please tell me you aren't jealous over a 14 year old girl?"

"No!" he scoffed and looked away from Cas' knowing look.

"I am in a very happy relationship with the man I love right now, I have standards and I am not into 14 year old girl's thank you very much…I only have eyes for a man who despite looks like shit right now still makes me fall in love with him every second of the day"

Dean chuckled and pushed his nose gently. "You soppy bastard!"

"You love it" Cas smiled kissing his hand gently.

"Sam and Anna's wedding next week" he muttered and Castiel nodded.

"Them two together is mind baffling but there are stranger things in life" Dean cried again when a little glint came into his eye.

"Cas?"

"Yes, Dean"

"Marry me" he whispered to his astonishment.

"Don't joke about that, Dean! It isn't funny"

"I wasn't joking Cas…I'm serious, marry me and make you mine forever! Make me look at you and think yeah, he's all mine bitches" he whispered his eyes glinting and reaching for his hand.

Castiel swallowed hard and stared at him in complete shock.

"Marriage? I thought you wouldn't want that…"

"Why?"

"Well after Lisa and that…" he said and trailed off as Dean grimaced sadly and grabbed his top pulling him towards him.

"That was over a year ago! I'm ill, I am weak and I feel like shit but you being here right now makes me forget all that for one moment…I am being so serious here Cas, I want to marry you, I want to be with you, grant me it?"

"Then fucking yes!" he hissed kissing him fiercely and pushing back the cover mounting him. Dean chuckled at the sudden weight but groaned in pleasure when the kiss turned desperate and filthy, tongue and teeth slid and crashed against each other.

"Say it again" Cas whispered into his ear.

"Castiel, will you marry me?" he whispered with a smile looking up at him. Castiel groaned in relief and triumph kissing him quickly.

"Yes, yes and yes" he murmured leaning his forehead against his.

Dean blinking in shock and astonishment as he stroked his hair back biting his lip hard.

"Me and you are getting married, I'm making you legally mine, no one will ever touch you apart from me ever again".

Cas closed his eyes nodding hard and fast. "I can't believe you've asked me!"

"When better to do it while you are dying from a bug" he cried amused and wrapped his arms around him.

"Say it, Cas"

"I love you, Dean Winchester"

"I love you too" he whispered and smiled looking into his eyes at his present and at his future lying in his arms and knew this was probably the best decision of his life.

They fell in love and got together in the worst possible circumstances but sometimes in life that happens, you realise you love someone when you can't have them or you are in the worst possible situation but they had each other now and no one was going to take that away, no one.

**This is done! **** Very proud of this! I gave them a happy bloody ending because they seriously need it. Please review! 3**


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